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The I That Is God
Growing up I was never really taught to believe in a certain religion. My family was a mix of different sects of Catholicism such as Protestant and Episcopalian. It’s hard to scale the intensity of their religious standings because they are all pretty personal, and they definitely have never been the imposing type. Although, I do have a Catholic nun on my father’s side, even she is very accepting of us all.
Throughout my childhood, I attended some youth groups with friends, along with Sunday school a couple times. My parents are spiritual, but they never once told me what to believe instead they encouraged me to develop my own beliefs from a pretty young age.
When I came to Evergreen, I didn’t believe in God. My concepts about God were based around the beliefs of monotheistic religions especially the Abrahamic: Christianity, Islam, and Judaism. I didn’t know how I felt about a God that protects, judges, and either rewards purity or punishes sinners based on doctrines or stories that have been translated and retranslated several times throughout time. In general these religions are moral codes, and I believed that I was perfectly capable of constructing my own. Western religion, from what my understanding comprised of, was contradictory, outdated, and quite frankly, bullshit. I couldn’t believe that stuff even when I tried. For example, these ideologies lay in the belief of creationism. This is so blatantly wrong in my eyes. I am very analytical, and I can’t help but want to ask, “So what about the dinosaurs? I’d love to hear your take…” (Or better yet, where are the unicorns?) One explanation that I find particularly ridiculous is that, “God placed dinosaur remains on this earth purposefully, to test our faith.” Personally, I don’t like the idea that God is trying to play tricks on us.
Lastly, when it comes to spirituality, science, or any endeavor you take to discover the “truth” about reality, it is pointless. All I know is all I know and it is always changing; my world is completely subjective and transient. With that, why should I spend my precious time in the physical trying to understand the divine nature of this world? Even Buddha referred to the person who ponders such questions as “a man wounded by a poisoned arrow.” Meaning instead of saving his life by pulling out the arrow immediately, he wants to know who shot the arrow, what the arrow was made of, etc. Instead of living his life and enjoying his time here, he clouds himself with unnecessary, impenetrable ideas. Thus, “Buddha refused to answer because these metaphysical questions do not directly pertain to liberation.” (Universe in a Single Atom, pg. 77)
For my newfound spirituality, I can give most of my thanks to Ken Wilber and his book Quantum Questions. Honestly, I have never been so enlightened by reading someone else’s words in my entire life. It sounds pretty silly when I think about it now, but it never occurred to me that I could have my own personal belief about the universe, the mind, and ultimately God. I thought I HAD to buy into some preconceived notion; that I HAD to either subscribe to some organized religion or become Atheist, which is scary!
Within Quantum Questions, the chapter “The I That is God” speaks about how mystics from all over the globe and all throughout time describe their life experience similarly with the phrase ‘Deus Factus Sum’ or ‘I have become God.’ Also, he refers to the Upanishads for the recognition that “the personal self equals the omnipresent, all-comprehending eternal self.” In another chapter titled the “Oneness of Mind,” he quotes Fritz Meyer, “[Upon] the death of any living creature the spirit returns to the spirit world, the body to the bodily world. In this however only the bodies are subject to change. The spiritual world is one single spirit who stands like unto a light behind the bodily world and who, when any single creature comes into being, shines through it as through a window…” (Quantum Questions pg. 87-98)
From this class, so far, I have deduced that the body and spirit are definitely two separate things. I also accept the fact that we will ultimately never know what’s beyond until we go there, so why debate about it? Worrying is useless! The universe will take care of itself. It is a force that is higher than me, and it’s none of my business how it works. All I can do is make my experience meaningful by coming to my own power and make my spiritual achievements available to others that may need help. A Shaman once told me “a human being cannot give you what spirit can.” Now I am finally able to agree.
