The “real”, the reality as it is instructed to me, as it is imposed upon me, as it exists around me, is not the reality with which I am familiar. I cannot say what exactly would feel more relatable to me, but I can say that for as long as I can remember I have felt this feeling of “unreality” and dissociation, and, by definition I am constantly “amazed” by the everyday.
This essay is a personal essay, as I focus more on relaying the particularities of my experience just as I experience them. I do not focus so much on making my words into art.
I did not conduct any research for this essay. I used my continuing observations of myself and my environment.
The principle audio track was conducted in a free-form sort of way, whereby I spoke open-endedly about my experience, without a script.
I cannot say whether or not I accomplished my goal. My goal was to create an essay that would let the viewer experience depersonalization and derealization. You tell me how I did.
The most challenging part of this essay was the visual treatment. It is not easy for me to capture such abstract perceptions as depersonalization in photos of what I see around me.
The most rewarding portion of this essay was the audio. I thoroughly enjoyed mixing the tracks together to create something that I felt was eery, alienating, and disorienting.
Eric Newport is from Concord, CA, in the San Francisco bay area. He is a sophomore at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA. Eric has engaged in extracurricular creative writing since he was a child. Later on, he took creative writing classes in high school and college. After Evergreen he intends to teach English abroad and “try not to die”.