Attached is a powerpoint of the vessels i created with clay this spring. To me they speak of the process of learning and of embodiment, Enjoy!
This week I focused on the transformation within myself, I thought alot about the whole, what did I learn from this quarter as a whole?
I taught myself to throw pottery, which is a really amazingly embodied and fun thing to do! Within doing this I witnessed many metaphors for transformation from within, which i talk alot about in my paper, which I worked alot on this week, being my main focus.
I Also finished Neuro!
I glazed many bowls and pots and thought about what I wanted from them.
I worked with Herbal First -Aid
and I started my self/teacher evals.
This week I worked for 37 Hours
“Organ in a body of organs” (Neuro, 230)
-this thing, this neuro-science
science of picking a part
apart the pieces.
the whole, formed only through pieces
pieces holding pieces.
we can know the pieces
but we cannot be the pieces without being the whole.
neuroscience takes the pieces
and I am left
searching for the whole
the piece of the whole that fits inside of all of me
I am not pieces of a piece
or a piece of pieces
I am whole
brained, bodied, bound and released.
look at my pieces
mold my piece
hold my pieces
but dont forget to
admire my whole
flock at my whole
imagine my whole.
because despite all my pieces
I am whole.
I believe what helene cixous was getting at with her own exponential need to write and with expressing the dire need for all women to write, was that we need to allow space for the sensual, for the right brained, for the image driven culture to find their voice in this typically male-driven, left brained culture of writing. You can see it in her writing, the expressive, incredibly image-filled words all strung together. She is writing the goddess, writing the simplicity that was first inscribed on clay. Rememberance being the point. She even states, once something is written, it is in the past, you now longer live it. Here I believe she is taping into the ideas behind cuniform, when cultures would write things down to remember, like what time of year they sowed seeds or how many cows they had. It wasn’t necessarily to capture anything and convey it but a simple way to place mind onto matter, a place to return to, a representation of image, imprinted. Its interesting how in remembering, in a sense we have become prone to forgetting..
Cixous beautifully conveys the tragedy of the male-driven culture that sprung from writing, in her own words she firmly states that, “Logos opens its great maw, and swallows us whole.” (Cixous, coming to writing, 46)
She asks the question, “What is the body for?”
This is fascinating to me, how can we see the part the body plays in a world where things are extracted from the body and written down on paper, removing the body from the equation? Can we write the body into writing? Will this remove the body from writing? Is it possible for the body to come into writing? Spoken word comes to mind, creating images and seeing words spill from the body. But I believe the written language has boundaries, a full point, and that point of overflowing comes when we think of the body. The body and writing can simply not survive together. Once you’ve written down the body you’ve lost the body. I believe what needs to happen is the gratitude for the body, for without the body, there can be no writing.
“women who runs with the wolves”
“The vegetative soul”
Rose harvesting/medicine and lore
“Women who run with the Wolves”
reading women who run with the wolves
Total hours: 30.5
“…selves are memories, and memories are patterns of synaptic interconnections. How are these patterns of synaptic connections established? […the understanding is that] it is now ‘experience’ that shapes the patterns of connections that are strengthened”. (217)
The life blood of my living in this world can only be shaped by what I come into contact with. This contact being the cultural world and the sensual encounters I internally face, taking shape in the form of tiny microscopic neurons. They shape, mold, form and break my understandings of the world in various ways. These tiny synaptic firings either form or erupt my patterns of being in the world. A sense of connection to the old or to the new comes from the recharging of memories. Tiny fires evolve self.
The microscopic even goes through metamorphosis.
The microscopic has the power to reverberate and make great change.
The microscopic consists of a great transformation, transforming mind, patterns and memories.
Connection begins at the microscopic level.
Whether we see it or not,
everything must start somewhere.
So why not, dream big
– A week full of difficulty. Questions pondered: How does the body appear in writing? Why do we Write? Can you write the body, or are words woven to remind of the body? A look at Cixous and Pinkola Estes, searching for the feminine body in writing. As we experience a sense of failure in the body, how do we empty the vessel? (body) Coming home to the body, coming home to writing. recognizing the fluidness that lies in pottery and in the body, cycle after cycle coming home into the heart. Goddess’ bringing light to the darkness, motherless, wordless, images getting cut away, and yet laughter provides release to the body. Words containing vessels of continuously shifting meaning, vessels continuously shifting form, empty, full, overflowing and emptied again. The mind works in similar ways, shifting and changing patterns and form, creating space for new meaning by emptying out old memories, a vessel of the mind being flushed by constant morphing, holding on and releasing, the mind working on both sides. Both sides creating harmony, using word and image. Body and Word. Word and Clay. Empty and Full. –
class, perloff and neuro
searching for sources on somatic experiences of feminine body
writing outline for final paper
reverie and reading neuro
writing outline of paper
testing glazes on plant plaques
throwing vessels, watching process
Class (Justin Gere) speaking on plant spirit medicine of Peru.
pottery, shaping, focused and intent.
Herbal apprenticeship, doug fir tips, speak of grandmothers and the need for women to take secrets to the grave, themes from women who run with the wolves this week.
each week i am finding syncronicitys throughout my readings, life and understandings of my female body.
writing/collecting quotes for final paper
“The Mechanism is the growth and pruning of synapses in response to experience – synapses that become “Hard-wired” by repeated use”. (194)
Molding molds of children in infancy/in fencing of gardening parents
who hold no monetary constraints, no constraints of giving and time, completely releasing to the tending of the children. How can this really happen when we all struggle to see ourselves through to the next line of numbers signed by a man who doesn’t have any children. Placing value, removing time, removing love.
what a wonder what whorl wind, what a world wind of renewal to commemorate the criminals, the children, the parents.
we mend we meld and then we pry apart. Asking of our citizens the work of pruning. A dynamic which might allow violence to end. Is it as simple as that? Cut off the violent branches of your tree my sweet little child, they will cost us and cost us if we do not prune your truth in moments of shaping. Shape your vessel to look like this, remove this part, the part deemed “damaged” by society and then continue on.
this takes time, and not just time, but the right time. I do not know how or when or why
but we must tend to the gardens of our hearts
not to focus on removal, but on the building of beauty.