I'm a decent boy just landed from the town of Ballyfad
Oh I want a situation and I want it mighty bad
A position I saw advertised, 'tis the thing for me, say I
But the dirty spáilpín ended with “No Irish Need Apply.”

Oh says I, “But that’s an insult, but to get this place I’ll try”
So I went to see that blackguard with No Irish Need Apply
Well some may think it a misfortune to be christened Pat or Dan
But to me it is an honor to be born an Irishman.

I started out to find the house and found it very soon
There I find the old chap seated he was reading the Tribune
I told him what I came for and he in a rage did fly
“No,” he says, “you are a Paddy and no Irish need apply”

Then I gets my dander rising and I’d like to black his eye
To tell an Irish gentleman “No Irish Need Apply”
Well some may think it a misfortune to be christened Pat or Dan
But to me it is an honor to be born an Irishman.

Well I couldn’t stand his nonsense so ahold of him I took
And I gave him such a beatin’ as he'd get in Donnybrook
And he hollered “Milia murther!” and to get away did try
And swore he'd never write again “No Irish Need Apply.”

He made a big apology and I bid him then goodbye
Saying when next you want a beatin’ write “No Irish Need Apply”
Well some may think it a misfortune to be christened Pat or Dan
But to me it is an honor to be born an Irishman.

Sure I’ve heard that in America it always is the plan
That an Irishman is just as good as any other man
Now home and hospitality they never will deny
To strangers here, or ever say “No Irish Need Apply.”

Ah, but some black sheep are in the flock, a dirty lot, says I
A decent man will never write “No Irish Need Apply”
Well some may think it a misfortune to be christened Pat or Dan
But to me it is an honor to be born an Irishman.