I am Whoopee Cushion...

My deflation is my inflation. And I am not what you think.

While it might seem, to some of you, totally degrading and utterly depressing to get sat on over and over and over again, I, in fact, am quitew pleased with it. My blushing rubber outsides tingle with... anticipation (Yes. I saw Rocky Horror... and loved it!) at the thought of being... (Oh please one more time!) smothered by a day's worth of unassuming, anonymous derierres. 

 Truth be told, it is my pride and joy... Each time I feel a pair of wet lips pushing the unwanted gaseous contents of their lungs into my empty rubber sac; expelling their mischeivious desires into my plasticine parts. It gets me. 

(To be continued...)