Fashioning the Body: Versions of the Citizen, the Self, and the Subject

    My name is Whoopee Cushion. Many of you may know me from TV or maybe you met me at a friend's house or received me for Christmas. You've probably all laughed at me once in your life, but I'm here to say enough is enough! I am NOT funny! It is not my fault that I sound like a fart! It is my body mechanics. First of all, I am rubber, I breath in and out through a rubber hole, that unfortunately flaps creating embarrassing hilarity. Growing up I always wanted to attend school, but due to my classmates abuse, I'm band from most classrooms. Most of the time I hang out on someone's shelf, in their toy box, or shoved into the back of their closet. Even before purchase I have to hang out in gag shops. Do you know what kind of people come into gag shops? I would kill for some intelligent conversation! The only time I've been in a shop I actually enjoyed, was when I was put on display in Barnes and Noble as a Klutz book. Life as a whoopee cushion is hard and lonely. The only time someone wans to play with me, they blow in my mouth making me all bloatie, giving me all their germs, and making me all moist inside. Then they proceed to sit on me, or trick their friend into sitting on me. I am soooo sick of being sat on! Farts are NOT funny!! They are natural bodily functions! God!