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The Self and the Universe
The other night, I had a tiger by my side. By morning, I was awake. For a moment I examined my surroundings, I examined myself. My reality had changed, but it was no more or less real in that moment than the one I experienced the night before. My body looked the same, but I was not who I was the previous day. I remembered the dream. I let my mind wander into the past and the future, the possible and the impossible. I allowed these thoughts to grow and become creative. This process was far more fulfilling to me than pure mindfulness.
I walked down to the shore. My drifting thoughts were an inextricable part of my awareness as I walked. Remembering is an active process, and while my mind may often grasp at the past, the experience is completely new each time. Every moment is a transition from one time to the next. Perhaps this, too, is a type of liminality. I feel I knew the concept all along, though not in words. The meeting of things or people blurs boundaries, and the interaction that occurs is unique, unable to be captured. I watched the water lapping at the sand and thought of the people I speak to. Something manifests, something can be felt, and it differs by who I am around. It differs also by who I am when I am around. Every action is an interaction. Just as sound must be perceived in order to be, meaning also is the product of an interaction.
Because the present is constantly changing, each instance is replete with potential. I have learned that observation creates a specific reality to the observer. I believe this reality can often have more to do with the observer than the other thing or person involved. My own thoughts and feelings shape my reality by applying themselves in the form of opinions. Because of this, my reality changes with me.
I believe that some things about reality may be innate, though they are expressed subjectively. I have seen parallels between the concept of liminality, the interconnected world view of Buddhism, and ideas in quantum physics. Certain discoveries have an immediate truth that is far deeper than truth reached by reasoning. There are many things I may never know and even more things I enjoy wondering. Many of my beliefs presently exist as multifaceted potential. As I learn more, I will discover more of what I truly believe.
I continued to think as I walked along the beach. Someone had asked me recently if I believed life had a purpose. I looked at my surroundings and they were beautiful. I had to perceive the beauty, though, for it to be real. It was not merely on or in the things I saw. I have the capability to feel and create meaning, to wonder, and to think. I cannot help but do such things constantly. In this sense, every moment has purpose.
The value of the present is in many ways due to its transient nature. No matter how open some people are to the idea of living entirely in the present, certain actions will inevitably affect the future. The fragility this implies causes my present experiences to be both amazingly exciting and amazingly heavy. I left the beach, walking back on a different path than the one I had taken. I am neither linear nor circular. Nothing is permanent. I would never want it to be.
