Activity 2: “Do Unto Others.”
I am greedy. There I said it. I wouldn’t say that I’m the stingiest person I know but I’m definitely not the first guy in the bar to start buying drinks for people. This has always been a problem for me. I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that when I was growing up my parents always stressed the importance of money. They would tell me, “Sure, follow your dreams we will always support you (emotionally that is). But you have to realize that most musicians are poor, and Brandon coming from two people who know you pretty well, being poor isn’t something we think you’d enjoy.”
As I’ve gotten older my parents prediction regarding what I consider to be a financially acceptable lifestyle as become a little to dead on. One of my biggest weaknesses in life is my love of stuff… and not just any kind of stuff, for me it has to be the best stuff. Here’s a quick example: There is a high-end tequila manufacture that goes by the name of Patron. This last year they released new tequila that sells for $650 for a fifth. Most people have the good sense to say, “that’s crazy I would never spend that much money on something so disposable.” Like I said, most people, but not me. The first thing I thought when I saw the advertisement was, I want it! I know I shouldn’t, I know its silly but if that’s the best then I want it. It was at this moment I realized I needed to make some changes in this aspect of my life.
About a week ago I was out with a friend of mine who we’ll call Tom. Tom is a great guy who is an amazing musician who also happens to have hardly any money. As I was about to leave Toms house He asked me what I had planned for the rest of the evening. I told Tom that I was probably going to get something to eat then head back to my house and have a martini and see where the night went from there. As I was walking to my car I realized this was my chance to do something philanthropic. I knew that Tom had been going through a rather rough time lately and that he was probably dreading eating spaghetti for another night in a row. It was then I decided I would break my cycle of want and greed and try to do something (monetarily speaking) for somebody else for a change.
That night I took Tom out for dinner and drinks. The part that surprised me most about the whole experience was when the check came. I half expected to feel like had made a bad decision. I thought my self talk would scream, “What are you doing, think of all the things you could have bought for yourself all with this money your about to spend.” It was nice to discover that was not the case. After picking up the check I felt great about the fact that I was able to help out a friend in a way most people are age aren’t used to being helped. On the way back home Tom told me, “I don’t know what to say. That’s the kind of thing I’d expect from my parents. You’re my first friend who has ever taken me out just because you could see I needed it. That really means a lot.”
I am pleased to say that I enjoyed my philanthropic experience and since then have been doing all sorts of little things like it. Believe it or not I actually bought a round of drinks last night just because it seemed like a nice thing to do.
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