Two activities that I do to lift my mood are: exercise and spend time with my children.  With exercise, I would say I experience being in flow as described by William Compton in An Introduction to Positive Psychology.  This happens only when I run outside.  If I am lifting weights or running on the treadmill in a gym I am focused but I do not have a loss of self-consciousness.  When I run outside, my blood starts to pump before I even begin to run.  My heart starts to race as I get closer to my starting point.  When I run, my mind doesn’t wander; I am focused on every step I take and every breath I breathe.  My body relaxes and unwinds.  My breathing gets into rhythm with my legs.  Together they set a pace that stays with me until I finish.  When I am done I am exhilarated with no presence of time and I feel great. 

            My other activity, spending time with my children, is the most rewarding and the best way to lift my mood immediately; just to hear their voices sends my heart pitter-pattering.  Listening to them tell me about their day and engaging them in conversation makes me so happy.  Their presence reminds me of how grateful I am to have healthy, happy children and they are a constant reflection of love.   Every moment spent with them is a blessing filled with joy and happiness. 

            With both of these activities there are obstacles.  With running, since I feel much better when I run outside, this is difficult in the winter months.  The weather doesn’t always cooperate and it gets dark before I get home from work.  This is one reason for going to the gym.  I still relieve stress this way and it also helps with unwinding but I would rather run outside if I can.

            With spending time with my children, this activity is limited because they are in school and I am at work much of the day.  Also being divorced, my children spend three days a week with their dad.  So I cherish the time I do get to spend with them. 

            To eliminate the incessant, ongoing self-talk, I will generally self-stop.  Once I realize what I am doing, and admittedly, sometimes it takes a few minutes, I will begin to change my thought process.  This is not easy to do and has taken some time for me to retrain myself.  One thing that I have found to help me is Jonathan Haidt’s metaphor of the rider and the elephant.  Mr. Haidt began this idea in order to control his own weakness of his will.  The rider represents controlled thought, and the elephant is emotion or automatic processing.  The rider can’t make a change and expect the elephant to obey.  The rider needs to retrain the elephant and work with the elephant to create balance.  So when I start the self-talk, my rider intercepts the thought process and trains the elephant to react another way, self-stopping.  I leave notes to remind me to “train the elephant.”

            In the final activity, slowing the cognitive process and reducing physiological arousal, I will generally get into a hot bath, light some candles and just breathe.  Sometimes I will put on soothing music.  The setting becomes relaxed and calming.  When I get out of the tub I am feeling warm and quiet. I do this just before I get into bed which will help me fall asleep quick. 

            My philanthropic experience was helping out a friend. My friend is a very active person.  She exercises everyday at her gym and also works at an elementary school.  So you can see her life is full of energy.  On January 14^th she had surgery on her knee, which caused her to slow way down and be confined to her couch.  The day after her surgery I went to her house to keep her company and to help her out.  Usually she is the one taking care of others so it was hard for her to just lay there and have someone take care of her.  I spent the evening helping her change her bandage, getting ice for her ice pack and just making her feel comfortable.  We talked about the days when we worked together and the things that we did.  It was fun.  We laughed and her spirits soared.  As the evening went on I noticed a physical change in her, she became relaxed and her pain seemed less intense.  I think the reminiscing and the laughter had a lot to do with it.   Her focus was on our conversation and not on her pain. 

            It made me happy to help her physically and mentally.  As I left her house that night I had a smile on my face that was with me as I laid my head down on my pillow.