Fashioning the Body: Versions of the Citizen, the Self, and the Subject

"helloooo, Judith Butler, I know you are talking about me, but I have no idea what you're saying!" --Lynnee Breedlove, One Freak Show, paraphrased

"I am extremely greatful to Foucault's notion of 'discourse.' Without it, I could not have done this work." --Edward Said, Orientalism, paraphrased

the form of "the form"

obligatory: i am speaking for myself. i am not speaking for anyone else. i have seen first hand many, many, many people struggle with gen-durr identity and how people reacted to their so-called abnormalities. i have seen friends kill themselves, loved ones still struggle after they have had surgery, loved ones struggle over how to cope with the 'illness' of their new sister -- many who struggled and lived in times that were not as fluid as this time, in times where breaking binary codes was really, truly, much more abnormal.  it's still hard for many. i think that is why i take such a flippant attitude myself to this 'intervention.' intervention, for many people, is not very fun. it's a privilege for intervention to be fun. i want to preserve my own sanity and respect the serious trials that many people have (in this day and age, too).

however, edward said spoke for other people with amazing results. comments directly addressed to the male and female box on the form. experimental in that gen-durr is inherently experimental on one scale and performative on another, which are only two of six or so scales of gen-durr. i almost didn't put this disclaimer in, but i figured one of you inquisitive, beautiful people would wonder about it.

the form of "the form"

"i" is a box. there are boxes. they define who we are. those in power give us labels. those close to us, whether or not they have power over us, give us labels. we give labels to other people. we give labels to ourselves. "liberal," "conservative," "radical," and "moderate" are labels. labels do not give credit to our rich selves. but see how much we use them and we need them. not always in a bad way either. see how much i use them. militant "i am just me" is a label. "child of the world" is a label.

the form of "the form": questions and statements from "them"

do you have breasts and a penis?

you don't look like an it.

are you a feminist?

when did you become a feminist?

how did you know?

are you particularly androgynous?

how DO you know?

you don't have the authority to speak about men.

or women.

or wymyn.
or transmen.

or the trans community.

or gen-durrfucking

or gen-durr neutral pronouns

or sexism

or masculinity

or really, anyone.

why don't you just gen-durrfuck all the time?

why don't you acknowledge the intense oppression your sisters have experienced?

why are you so angry with militant queer activism?

how can you have sex?

how can you even say that about sex? you're queer, you're third wave, not second wave, you should drown in sex, right?

how can you desire religious life with your 'identity struggles'?

are you still my sister?

why don't you ever really talk about this and be out and proud?

why do you love wymyn-identified-wymyn? you're young, remember?

you dislike the ideas of waves?

why are you turning your back on lesbianism, your community?

so, you, um, obviously feel a draw toward masculine energy, but still wear skirts?

why aren't you more respectful to folks that know the binary is oppressive and choose to name their own gen-durr and force you all to recognize it?

why aren't you more respectful to your lesbian elders?

can i see your dick? is it as big as mine? how many inches is it? how much did it cost?

you should switch your pronouns to "ze" and "hir"

why is this just not a big deal to you?

how can you believe in a god who is obviously against everything you stand for?

wow. you have breasts. that's new.

the form of "the form"

cuz it's goddamn hot and i am not tiny, even with the best devices it's goddamn hot in there and i am not tiny.

it's not as simple as 'just be myself, love me for who i am, just MEEEEEEEEEEE,' because we don't live in fucking camp trans. i am so glad i don't. there is a binary and no matter how many times you fuck that thing, it'll still be there.

so i work on something easier to manage. we all exist in this world on multiple levels -- i ain't going to give up the parts of me that has a history of pain (my whiteness, for example), just to make me feel more like singing songs around a campfire.

the form of "the form"

she signed her book, "to my fellow sister poet, with delight" and 'sister poet,' is an inherent part of me. so call me labels and listen when or if i correct you, but don't stop calling me them. because then, if we all became happy fuzzy human beings, we would be able to pretend that shit wasn't fucked up. but it really is. so that is why i "get up, get over it, and go" (the advice from someone who knows the gen-durr game at a very close proximity) in regard to my trans identity. except when i have to, see, explain, to make a big deal outta things. like right now.