Author Archives: evahou03

P(r) – Week 8 Log

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Monday 2-25-13:  1/4 hr e-cises, 1/4 hr vocal exercise, 1/2 hr belly dance, 3 1/2 hr reading Grandmother’s Secrets, 1/2 hr WordPress, 2 hr seminar.  Total:  7 hours

Tuesday 2-26-13:  1/2 hr Morning Pages, 1/4 vocal exercises, 1/4 e-cises, 2 hr Holdrege paper, 1 hr walking meditation, 1 hr seminar, 2 hr read Bachelard.  Total:  7 hours

Wednesday 2-27-13:  1/2 hr Morning Pages, 1/4 e-cises, 1 1/2 belly dance, 1/4 voice, 1 read Affect Theory Reader, 1 seminar.  Total:  4.5 hours

Thursday 2-28-13:  1/4 e-cises, 1/2 MP, 1/4 meditation, 1 belly dance, 1 walking meditation, 3 writing poetry/Holdrege, 1/4 voice, 2 reading For Space and Noe.  Total:  8.25 hours

Friday 3-1-13:  1/4 e-cises, 1/2 MP, 1.5 bellydance, 1 walking meditation, 5 writing poetry/Holdrege, 1/4 voice.  Total:  8.5

Saturday 3-2-13:  1/4 e-cises, 1/2 MP, 1 bellydance, 1/2 meditation, 7 Holdrege, 1/4 voice.  Total:  9.5

Total:  44.75 hours

Week 8 – Bachelardian Reverie #4

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**sorry for the lateness, I lost my book and just acquired a new one

“What an invitation to dream what one sees and to dream what one is…Who is existing?  What a relaxation for our own existence!”  (161)

My existence is exhausting. whirling, turning, maelstrom, never resting, never ceasing, never silent.  Words and dreams and moments spinning in a vortex, nothing sorted, nothing orderly.  I try to control the internal with the external but the one doesn’t translate well into the other.  If I can only know who I am when my mind is quiet, how will I ever know who I am?  If I don’t exist as a static being I can be reborn every moment, a phoenix shaking its feathers afresh every nanosecond.  There is freedom in the ether, but can there be freedom without captivity?  Who is looking out at me from my own eyes?  Can these eyes see the many faces of the many-faceted gods who cannot exist without me to dream them into creation so that they can in turn create me?

P(r) – Poem #3 – Week 7

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silence

turning and turning in the widening gyre,

seeking a silence I find lacking,

my center will not hold a black hole and so I must fill it with things

windchimes and nail polish and eyelash curlers and cookies and cupcakes and handbags and handbags and handbags and jewelry and sparkly pink beads and notebooks and notecards and embroidery floss and pens and pencils and lip gloss and buttons in antique canning jars and marbles from my grandfather and hats and train cases and potted plants and scarves and balls of yarn and strings of bells and packets of antique sewing needles and a petticoat (a petticoat!) and old tin lunch boxes and colored glass bottles and Christmas lights and boxes of boxes and musical instruments and Halloween decorations and camping gear and kaleidoscopes and spoons and baby pictures and books and books and books and books

even so,

the relief is fleeting and–no surprise

to those who know–

my habit wants more every time and

all I want is

a moment of peace

 

 

P(r) – Week 7 Log

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Sunday 2-17-13:  2 hr Vagina Monologues, 2 hr reading Bachelard, Affect Theory Reader, 2 hr writing.  Total:  6 hours

Monday 2-18-13:  2 hr writing, 1/4 hr e-cises, 1/2 hr belly dance, 1 hr fighting with WordPress, 3 hr reading Dehaene & Perloff, 1/2 hr meditation, 1/4 hr vocal exercises, 1 hr Spring ILC, 1/2 hr typing notes for Holdrege paper.  Total:  9 hours

Tuesday 2-19-13:  1/2 hr meeting with Sarah, 2 1/2 hr walking meditation/reverie/note taking, 1 hour belly dance.  Total:  4 hours

Wednesday 2-20-13:  1/4 hr e-cises, 1/2 belly dance, 1/2 hr Vixia proficiency with Media Loan, 1/2 hr meditation, 2 hr reading Weight/Varieties of Presence.  Total:  3.75 hours

Thursday 2-21-13:  1/4 hr e-cises, 1 1/2 hr belly dance, 1 hr reading Noe, 2 hr letter for Spring, 1 hr online research, 1/4 vocal exercises, 1/2 meditation, 3/4 hr watching interviews with Alva Noe on YouTube.  Total:  7.25 hours

Friday 2-22-13:  1/4 hr e-cises, 1 hr belly dance, 1/2 hr meditation, 6 hr reading Dehaene/Perloff/Noe/Feldenkrais.  Total:  7.75 hours

Saturday 2-23-13:  1/4 hr e-cises, 1 hr bellydance, 4 hr reading Mindfulness for Beginners/Pain Free, 1/2 hr meditation.  Total:  5.75 hours

Total:  43.5 hours

P(r) – Bachelardian Reverie #3

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“Attached to its odor memories, a childhood smells good.”  (Bachelard, 140)

Pipe tobacco.  Scratchy brown sofas in every room, green wallpaper always made me think of Napolean.  The front room with the best bookshelves but not allowed to touch.  The secret back bedrooms.  Mixing clay, letting it run through my fingers and letting a thin layer coat my hands and harden.  A jar of candy orange slices, slightly stale, the crunch of sugar between my teeth.  Seashell soaps in bowls, too many for one room.  Petticoats in every color on a rack in the spare room, so many things we weren’t allowed to play with.  Erasers in every shape, puzzles, perpetual motion figures.  The stack of every Serendipity book, sitting on the floor with Bratty in my lap reading them to her on Saturday afternoon, one after the other, and that one picture book of Sleeping Beauty–even then I thought there was something a little off about that story.  She was too much a victim, the ultimate fantasy of a woman subdued.  Such a sharp contrast to the Twelve Dancing Princesses, in the beginning anyway.  Fairy tales again…

P(r) – Week 6 Log

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Monday, 2-11-13 1/2 hr fighting with WordPress, 1 hr writing, 2 hr Sherman Alexie reading at Elliot Bay Books in Seattle, 3 hr reading Perloff, Dehaene, Cixous.  Total:  6.5 hours

Tuesday, 2-12-13 1 hr belly dance, 1/4 hr e-cises, 3 hr reading Bachelard, Winterson, 1 hr reading, 3/4 meditation.  Total:  6 hours

Wednesday, 2-13-13  1/2 hr morning pages, 1/4 hr e-cises, 1/4 hr meditation, 1 hr belly dance, 2 hr chocolate tasting/lecture, 4 hr reading Bachelard, Winterson, Noe.  Total:  8 hours

Thursday, 2-14-13  1/4 e-cises, 1 1/2 hr belly dance, 2 hr writing, 5 hr reading Feldenkrais, Noe, Winterson, 1/2 hr voice exercises.  Total:  9.25

Friday, 2-15-13  1/2 hr e-cises, 1 hr belly dance, 1 hr walking meditation, 2 hr writing, 2 hr reading Bachelard, Winterson, Affect Theory Reader, 1/2 hr voice exercises.  Total:  7

Saturday 2-16-13  1/4 e-cises, 1/2 belly dance cardio, 3/4 hr belly dance conditioning, 2 hr writing (Holdrege), 2 hr walking meditation/reverie/taking notes, 2 hr reading Affect Theory Reader, Winterson, Noe, 1/2 hr voice exercises.  Total:  9

Total hours:  45.75

 

 

 

 

 

P(r) – Bachelardian Reverie #2

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“The man who loves a woman “projects” upon that woman all the values which he venerates in his own anima.  And in the same way, the woman “projects” upon the man she loves all the values which her own animus would like to conquer.”  (Bachelard, 73)

this vision of two conquers and divides and creates us.  we are nothing without the other. two sides to every story, two sides to every coin, two dimensions in space. many faced gods wringing their many hands as they make and unmake themselves. apotheosis. we are the gods that make and unmake themselves. our creations mirror the creator more than our autobiographies ever could. our desires are plain in our actions but muddled by our words. the only fools we are fooling are ourselves but we turn a blind eye and continue because knowing yourself too well might be just as bad as not knowing yourself well enough.  why do i keep thinking of anais nin?