“Solitude,my mother,tell me my life again” – O.V. de Milosz
My quilt is not made of real fabric, no. My quilt is made out of so much more than that.
My quilt is made out of place, out of my
My quilt is a representation of my 21st year, being realized on a day by day spirit journey to the Island in the middle of the ocean, that I have so many fond memories of,
Kauai, is the landscape of my dreams. For years, this place has been my home. I have always tasted the papaya.
Where the dirt is red, where the rain is hard, where I have no plan.
I am at the home birth homestead, where the mothers have taken me in to their home, but I still have more to figure yet. I feel like I have been gone forever, now that the sun is out, and my skin is opening up. Lots of smells remind me, of me. HERE. on Kauai.
For now, I will follow my bliss, I will not be afraid.
I am a strong person, I am not afriad.
I am afraid, to stick my thumb out on the road.
I am afraid, I am not afraid.
I am embarking on the wisdom keeper, far away, learning adventure.
I have no Idea where I am going, I am afraid, I am not afraid.
Colonialism. I am not afraid. I am not scared, I am not afraid.
“I don’t know how long I am going to be here” as if that is something that is positive, that isn’t scary. I am not afraid.
Plumeria, and lots of rain, and crying babies, and roosters, and birds.
I pray, I pray, I pray
Im gonna turn brown.
Im gonna breathe.
Im gonna touch soil.
Im gonna find heart.
Im gonna be active.
Im gonna eat well.
Im gonna laugh hard, dance hard
Im gonna play
with plants, with animals, with people,with babies
Im gonna “surrender to the flow”
Im gonna embrace the weather extremeties
Im gonna listen
Im gonna pray for sun
Im gonna find a grandma to hold my hand and plant the seeds and harvest the fruits
I am going to pray
I am going to deepen
I am going to calm
I am going to hold
I am going to listen
I am going to be artful, poetic
I am going to release
I am going to find a teacher
I am going to find love
I am going to know my cycle
I am going to breathe
I am going to dream
I AM GOING TO THRIVE.
Pass the aloha, humid, rainy, wet, sun, skin
don’t forget to breathe, don’t be afraid
to be alone. Don’t be afraid.
sweet nectar, plumeria.
today I spent the day with Linda, mama, my grandma.
She has something up her 72-year-old sleeve, I trust.
I am not afraid.
I am alone.