Fashioning the Body: Versions of the Citizen, the Self, and the Subject

After all of this stuff feat. Barbies, I figured I would toss out some poems by my friend Ellie Schoenfeld.  She is a native of Duluth, MN. and still resides there, doing social work, reading her poetry with music, and being an adult.  One thing that made Ellie better-known was her Barbie poems. 

 

One day about 20 years ago I was sitting around UMD with some friends and one friend had brought snacks – little bar cookies.  They were very tasty and when I asked her what they were called, she said “Sesame Dream Bars.”  That cracked me up because it sounded so much like a Barbie accessory but not really Barbie, maybe some alternative-minded, vegetarian relative about whom we’d never heard.  I thought maybe her name would be Aurora.  “Barbie’s Little Sister” was the first Barbie poem I wrote.  I think I wrote the rest over the next year or two.  I haven’t written a Barbie poem in about 15 years, I can’t remember exactly . 

 

 So, so Ellie poems that should be better known than they are:

Barbie's Little Sister

Barbie's little sister,

Aurora

got sent away to reform school

when she was thirteen.

Mattel brought her back complete

with wheat germ, a VW love bus

and a recipe for sesame dream bars.

But she never caught on.

Didn't go for the vanity

table or the bubble head.

Thought Barbie was repressed

and Ken was a nerd

so she hit the road

with his cousin.

They went to demonstrations

wore love beads

and got matching tattoos.

Finally, Mattel stopped marketing her.

Didn't think she's make

a good role model.

 

Winona

Winona is Barbie's walleye warrior friend,

comes complete with a boat

o.k., so y'all know very well that I think some writing and talking about the meaning of film is like dancing about painting (or talking about the use of art, for that matter, instead of MAKING art).  So this is what was going through my mind when I watched the feminist video art.

It is really, REALLY easy to dismiss these pieces as shitty, crazy art things.  However, as the women who introduced us noted, these vids came from a place where women were really trying to make a name for themselves as women (yes, women BORN women) in a patriarchal world.  Yes, uh, it was largely white middle class women doing the shaking.  But go with me here. 

"You would never understand, you young queers don't respect your elders," a sixty-year-old Lesbian told me.  This was after I did a performance piece and made a dig at Judy Grahn (not Judy Grahn herself, who led an incredible life, but the LESBIAN RULES which require Another Mother Tongue to be read by every young Lesbian).  She admitted she was overly sensitive to Grahn, "a saint for the Lesbian movement," and while the younger queers appreciated the jokes and ways I made fun of older lesbians and institutions like Michigan Wymyn's Music Festival, she was miffed.   "Someone exposed their PENIS in the SHOWER!" she said. (this is not really accurate, but go with me).  "Do YOU have any idea what it means to imagine a world free from men touching you, shoving you, to have wymyn's space to breathe?"  She lived on lesbian communes and horse farms in the 70's, yes, as a lesbian separatist, she said, "we were so radical, so eager, but so alone." 

And YOU, she said, YOU grew up post-Stonewall!  Where Gloria Steinem was readily available!  Where you didn't have to fight...just to be equal.  These young women, they think they can stop being gay!  Women don't want to identify as Lesbian anymore.  Suppression!

So, how about St. Josaphat?  The Saint of the Day for Nov. 12?  St. Josaphat was a monk and a priest in what is now Russia and preached union with Rome.  He managed to convince his most Orthodox diocese of unity.  However, he made enemies of both hard-core Russian Orthodox people and hard-core Latinizers.  He was accused of being too Catholic to some Russian Orthodox people, and too distrustful and too Orthodox by the Catholic bishops.  So he was killed by a mob action.  

he is the first Eastern Orthodox saint to also be canonized by Rome.

St. Josaphat was someone who preached against the split between Orthodox and Catholic Christianity.  

Oh, and the Josaphat/Jehoshaphat in scripture, was, it seems to me, someone who pursued alliance and religious reform.  So even if the point was not a specific religious one, cuz duh, Josaphat is not just a Christian character, religious study can serve as a powerful tool for bringing home a point about an issue that doesn't have a religious monopoly, but is centered in justice.  But someone who knows more about this feel free to chime in, as it's 2AM. 

 

speech

let's dance

Hi, this is Barbie Karaoke Machine.   Let's dance!  I've had my heydey years earlier when my limbs worked.  now i can pop out a few beats.  my speech is a bit broken, but i can still say a few things.  I want you to sing with me!  My arms broke and my stomach is hungry.  Let's dance!  When you press the Echo button, you can do interesting things with your voice.  But I don't have that any more.  Are we movin' now?  Get up and dance.  I don't talk to correct misunderstandings.  I simply cannot talk well.  Hi-Med-Lo-please turn my volume to Hi.  My mouth is pink with flowers.  My mouth is broken.  Press the song button to hear a song.  You can hook it up to a tape player.  I am the dream of many pretty boys and girls, but am broken now.  Let's get groovy!  It is disheartening, because as a Barbie I was taught I could do anything.

Love is something you cannot live without. Someone who gives the illusion of paying attention is easy to fall in love with. -- lessons from Tomorrow's Eve

I love the internet because I can interact with people without the confines of physicality. I hate the internet because I can interact with people without the confines of physicality. Livejournal, in high school? Insta-gratification for angst. Online gay youth groups in middle school because I could find no gay people my age? Relief. And then, wow, when the internet started creeping me out, lo and behold, I found gay people my age in my own town. Online groups about depression, eating disorders, human shield FYIs. I used to get over 200 -mail messages from yahoo groups. Forgive me, i was 15 and thought no one understood me, but you depression-si-suicide@yahoogroups.com, you connected me with all sorts of people who knew the "real me." And you "lesbian-and-bisexual-women@yahoogroups.com," connected me with others who share my identity. Oh, and we can't forget "gayUKyouthboyz@yahoogroups.com," for connecting me with gay men all over the United Kingdom.

 

Then, I decided that I wanted to quit blogging and writing e-mails to yahoo!groups and actually interact with my community. So I unsubscribed. And for a period of time, the best way to reach me was through the mail. I am obsessive about e-mails and letters, for many it is easier to be obsessive with letters. And lord knows how many times I've regretted hitting the 'send' button, occasionally things that have wacked up my life in -- now I can say good ways. E-mail implies exhaustion and almost mandates response. She loved my letters, not my e-mails. But then, occasionally, I'll meet a beautiful person and the way we can keep in touch is through e-mail. I'm not talking gayYouthUK, but actual friendship. Still, it seems both like I have an amazing network of people who have my back and a false sense of security.

to it, on it, and around it.

 that parasol is for my best concerns, when I am trying to impress.  see, they called me to sit for a portrait, so I bring my parasol.  There's not much wind here, so i can walk up and down the streets without it getting blown inside out.  see, that's not technology, that's not a feminine body, my big head, that's for my best concerns.  the shoes i always wear, but especially when sitting for a portrait, they pop.

So being a bit melodramatic and very emotional, I decided to think about why I didn't feel very alienated from this movie at all (and wasn't bothered by dolls hardly moving, or that they didn't have facial expressions, or so-called cheesy dialogue). I have a good adult friend and we play dolls together. She uses them as practice for her writing. To her, the dolls are full-fledged people, that can express in situations what she cannot always express. So that doesn't feel unsettling either, the use of dolls as people. The funniest bit in the movie, I guess, was when the children were lamenting their terrible tight-knit, oppressive family. That was funny. I don't think this is what the director was going for, but it got me thinking about how cynical, snobbish, and just plain un-romantic it is to be all high-brow and critical about popular culture. It's like criticizing the act of giving cards and flowers -- not just to lovers, but to friends. It is like criticizing romance in general.

Certainly, analyzing popular cinema requires just as much care to the context and the participants in the debate as hip-hop? And is it all bad to make people feel good, to have no loose ends? I would argue that, dammit, it is o.k. to escape into something that may not happen in real life. Not because it makes you not act on the world, but because (perhaps?) you already do enough acting on the world in your life and need a break?

This is not a response to Brecht, because I think in the long run, Brecht and I would probably agree on a lot of things. But deciding what art "can" or "cannot" do, or what "should" or "shouldn't" be allowed, needs to include the voice of the artist. And after you have done a lot of research into the industry and the artists. And I think it is important to be critical of popular culture. But Pretty Little Liars, Harry Potter, or Nancy Drew carry lots of depth. And please do not forget romance. It is important to give flowers and cards to those we love.

horizon (1)

but this dread was something different. it was a fear of intrusion into _____ rather than of expansion into the World's gaze. ___ felt ___ leg as a soft, shrinking and vulnerable thing. ___ longed to cry out to _____ and warn ______ to examine ______ leg in a particular way, but specific firm, yet calm, movements. But ____ tongue was dried out and glued to the floor of ____ mouth.

love always tends to union, and the greater the love the closer is the alliance to which it inspires (2)

Oh, God,

as there are souls singularly favored and caressed by you, you raise some to be as dear mistress or seraphic level

and

could concieve of nothing more embarrassing than an involuntary ______ -- especially if a _____ such as ______ was touching _____.

though the love ____ bore to you made _____ sigh after the enjoyment of a similar grace

___- had to cant ______ up on to the curve of ___ _______ coincidentally adopting the same posture as ___ had when ___ first became aware of the ____.

___ mind was agitated with many different sensations and ____ felt two different sorts of agitations, similar to the two contrary pulsations which physicians regognize in our hearts.

this was different to the fear that ____ usually felt when ___ was touched by ____ in non-intimate situations, or had to address in

your love made _____ words like burning coals.

love is always communicative, it allows of no secrets between those whose affections it unites; and it is a sort of injustice to give the heart to anyone without revealing all that it contains of any importance....And you loved ____ so tenderly, and even publicly took ___ for ___ spouse, we cannot wonder that ___ honored ___ with the gift of prophecy.

i guess, if my life is a performance and it is all fodder for writing, isn't every piece of my writing and the little conversations, the interactions that imprint on my brain during the day all performance.  i have a hard time coming up with just one script!  :)

so what i wrote, i guess.

nothing on stage in the Garden of Eden.  I have been miraculously transported back in space.

First person comes on stage, naked, bringing clothes. "I believe it is fun to play with appearances, you're performing your gender with every moment you breathe.  so have fun, change your pronoun a bit, don't you know the story of Samael and Lilith, of Adam and Eve? So become blissfully naked and free, play with the goth chicks dipped in honey, screw around and have fun, there's only you and you alone!" plays in the background, a mantra from a genderqueer support group, MAKE ZE AND HIR THE ONLY PRONOUNS NOW!  person looks very confused.  "So why the fuck would I have to take a label then regarding my gender?" person responds.

"You want to be like God?  You think that's the best way of being with God? MORAL SIN.  YOU'RE KICKED OUT OF PARADISE.  OH, AND YOU'RE NAKED."

(monotonic, voice of Metatron)

CAIN'S SURFACE-LEVEL IDENTITY

fade

Alarm clock

Music of Marty Robbins, "El Paso"

put on binding devices

penis

undergarments

undershirt

overshirt

another shirt

pants

no shoes

another person comes on

ABEL'S SURFACE-LEVEL IDENTITY

Alarm clock

Music of King Missile, "Detachable Penis"

quickly! bra, underwear, jeans, FEMINISM IS FOR THE WHALES!  SAVE THE WHALES! t-shirt

the two bring their bodies to God. Abel's body is accepted while Cain's is not.

"Come into the genderqueer group with me, Abel!"

(Cain kills Abel)

I guess the most interesting thing about the movie to me was the reaction from the audience after the film. The things people found offensive, unacceptable, or just gross and outrageous were indicative of why people watch this movie. I wonder if females (the ones who many people found objectified) watch it for escape and identification. Jackie Stacey used these terms in her study of female moviegoers in Britain who watched movies from the 40s and 50s, identifying how women viewed the films, not in terms of film scholarship (male gaze sort of thing, objectification) viewed the films. Her work isolates the film in memory. Ien Ang (Watching Dallas) and Sudha Rajagopalan's work on Hindi cinema in the Soviet Union is also imperative in this realm. When we give the audience agency over the text, understanding that truth is created between artist and receiver, we begin to study the larger picture of film -- not just the images on the screen. Perhaps, just perhaps, labeling something oppressive without understanding why people want to watch it is just as much a reflection of our own backgrounds. As one actor in South Indian cinema put it to me, "people need that emotional balm."