Theme: Growing up

“Do you have to live to be a hundred to really grow up?”

This particular quote really had me thinking and relating to my own life in this time being. I remember when I was thirteen, I’d imagine myself ten years in the future. Where would I be at twenty three? In my head, I would’ve already graduated college and be in California, living on the beach. I’d have a stable job and be taking care of myself. I’d be an adult. I’d be a grown up.

I turn twenty two in May and I can tell you that my life has not turned out like I thought it would. I don’t feel like an adult AT ALL. Sometimes I think I do things that are adult-like. For example, paying bills, not living with my mom, going to work, doing taxes, blah blah blah. But more often than not, I’m doing things that aren’t traditionally ”grown up”, like playing Mario Kart and spending hours in bed on Netflix.

So what does being a grown up entail? When does it start? Would you consider Nao’s dad a grown up? Because being an adult has a stigma as always having your shit together. When you become an adult, you accept responsibility and stop having fun and you ‘do what you have to do’ (whatever that means). But Nao’s dad has literally been doing the exact opposite of this…as in not accepting responsibility and doing what has to be done. Maybe being an adult means not taking short cuts? And if that’s the case then her dad is deff not an adult.

But maybe there is no age when you become an adult. There are fifteen year olds out there that are more responsible than me. And there are fifty year olds out there who have yet to step out into the world on their own. What does it mean to grow up? Why does growing up and being happy always seem to be polar opposites?

When can I just be like old Jiko and live forever?

Theme: Endings

I think an appropriate theme for this Ozeki post would be endings.

In this section of the book Nao’s grandmother dies, which was particularly upsetting to me because I really liked her character. But when I was reading this part, I expected Nao to be more…emotional I guess? I found it funny that I was having this reaction to this section because of my own experience with death. Like I’ve said in earlier post, my brother died when I was 8 and he was 12. My mom, sister and I went to see a therapist and apparently I was the only one that was adjusting to the accident. Looking back now, I didn’t show much emotion, in my head, there was nothing I could do to make him come back so there was no use freaking out.

I think that’s how Nao felt. I expected her to be really sad because her grandmother seemed to be the only good, positive, stable, person in her life. But she didn’t, she kind of just…let her go. Ruth’s story ended kind of the same too,her writing a letter to Nao as a kind of goodbye before she let her go. I guess we all deal differently though. Some of us need physical closer, like a face to face goodbye or a letter that you’ll never send. And some of us just let it go as easily as they let us go.

Endings can be confusing.

The father, Jay, after being deported with his family to parts unknown out of Uganda which is also the only home he has ever known, spends the next decade or so attempting to get back his home. But, instead of the life that he was accustomed to in Uganda, which was one of comfort he ends up a motel with his wife and daughter in Mississippi.  A state that in the past hasn’t exactly been welcoming to visitors either. But, what stands out is the fact years later he still trying to get back what was taken from him by no fault of his own other than the race of his birth. Many times this to the exclusion of his family who just like him to live in the present and not the past. The past that he cannot have back no matter how hard he tries.

In the end with yet another change of leaders in Uganda, he is finally convinced to return home by his wife to see for himself what has become of his home and friends. What he finds is not what is expected. The friend that he had was taken in the night by the army of Idi Amin most likely killed by said people. All we know for certain is that he died within months of Jay leaving. Their conflict unresolved. Much to Jay’s bitter heartache. The home that he shared with his family in Uganda is no longer what it once was as now the home is being used as both living quarters and stable. However, the view is still the same. Looking out at the view Jay finally realizes he cannot go back. home is where the heart is. That heart is the Deep South of the US.

One the things that stood in Shaolin Ulysses was the former monk who married an American and how she was discussing what religion their child was being raised in. While the religion nor being raised in one is the problem,the religion in question is Catholic, she completely disregards what her husband’s wishes may be as far as what raise their child in. During the course of the interview she seems to go back to this theme repeatedly. I find it odd that she would disregard what he husband was raised in, disregarding the other half of their child’s culture who will grow up ignorant of the rich heritage of her father in turn. Religion tends to be a touchy subject among couples who are from very different backgrounds however the fact remains that the child should be raised in both as to have an apperication for both. That way later in life the child can choose which religion or not that they wish to practice and such a decision should be left up the child not the parents to explore on their own at a later date. But, not educating your child on the father’s beliefs is like leaving half of your DNA at the door. It doesn’t work.

The film, Better Luck Tomorrow, focuses on the teenage angst of being the smarter kid in the class with the added twist the main characters happen to be Asian American who are bored. This obviously is not going to end well for one person in particular. Based the murder of Stuart Tay of Orange County, California which was of a particular and violent nature and the director of Better Luck Tomorrow,Justin Lin, followed the case pretty closely in the media. Lin has stated the both the crime and film were a reflection of today’s youth culture and in particular,suburbia, embrace the gangsta lifestyle of the inner-cities more often than not out of boredom. Or to look cool. You be the judge of that.

The film goes on the explore just how teenagers are willing to go either to protect a secret or if they feel a threat to the well being of the group,pack mentality in motion. In the case of the film it devolves because of drinking,drugs,and running a scam for money which sounds like teenagers in general no matter what the generation. With exception to the money scams. Throw in competition for a girl with hormones raging even the best of friends can lose their minds. That is what stood out for me the film for the me the most is the expectations of the boys from the families all the while their lives are spinning out of control in the most horrible of ways. The family expectations can be overwhelming for many and even more so as the child of Asian Americans. The pressure to succeed in school, to have the right clothes, to have the girl and to basically have it all because it is what your parents want for you. Problem is add in living in the burbs breeds boredom which in turn fuels the need to have something exciting to do and this case a money scam that creates the fantasy of being part of the Chinese mob etal. But, when one person wants out because the pressures of running the scam become too much it erupts into violence with a tragic outcome because of that boredom to begin with. Throw in the gangsta persona from the inner cities and the recipe for disaster is complete. The race of the teenager in the end is unimportant, but, the outcome is.