Project Presentation

Elizabeth Myers

Art, Environment, and the Child

Final Reflective Summary of Learning

Creative Meaning

I thought to write a fairly typical academic paper about the main points of knowledge that I have acquired from the study, research, and application of the information found in the preparation and experience of the various elements of this program. But as this time with the people, and adventures I have encountered, has progressed, I found myself reflecting more and more on something deeper and more difficult for someone like me to define. I am a fairly average American with an average consumer oriented literal thinking outlook and perspective on the activities of life. I generally approach challenges in a fairly (from my viewpoint) straightforward, get it done, type of manner and this is true for most obstacles I encounter. I will attempt instead to define some of those deeper moments and their meaning to me.

Two of the most memorable moments happened during our trip to Mt. Rainier. I was the driver of one of the TESC passenger vans. I was a little nervous at first even though I had been a driver in the past during a previous program trip. It is still a great responsibility to be driving a van with 14 people in it, up a mountain. On the way up everyone was laughing, chatting and we were even singing songs.

And after our adventure with the mountain was complete and we began our trip down, there was a moment when I realized everyone was asleep. I know we were tired from the hike and the thin air but they actually felt safe enough with me driving to fall asleep. Someone was even quietly snoring. I felt a great sense of peace and comfort in that knowledge for some reason.

The second significant encounter on the mountain occurred as I was walking down the trail we had ascended with Ranger Kevin. Our journalizing, being one with the mountain time was up and we were all drifting down in order to share a meal and then descend entirely, back to our regular worlds. As I was walking I found myself next to Ranger Kevin. I was thinking to myself here is an opportunity to speak and ask questions and really receive some insight on a topic of interest to me, Global Warming.

I asked Ranger Kevin about the effects of global warming on the mountain and he responded that effects are many and varied etc. and would take more time then we had to really define. I then got more specific and asked, “What are the most obvious effects?” He described the retreat of the glaciers at a faster pace as being one of the most measurable elements. Then he got this little gleam in his eyes and his face lit up as he excitedly pointed out the Timber Line, which is between the Arctic Alpine Zone, and what is called the Hudsonian Zone.

The Timber Line he explained is where the temperature, the snowfall level, and the vegetation species all change or transition as the elevation increases. He pointed to some tree seedlings that covered a certain space between the two zones and said, “see how large these seedlings are?” I said, “yes.” He said that these seedlings in the past would not have survived to this height as they were at the level where the temperature in the past was too cold for them to survive.

I was in awe for a moment as I realized the full implication of the fact that I was actually seeing the evidence with my own two eyes. I felt a deep sense of mystery and longing, not quite sadness, for the future of the world. As I gazed around at the beauty and smelled the fresh clean air and felt the crisp cleanness of it all I was poignantly reminded and wounded by the knowledge that this particular experience may not be possible at some point in the future.

At a later point as I was trying to arrange my work schedule to accommodate my projects, my work, and my life, I found myself in a state of inertia and confusion surrounding my attempts to be an effective participant with the Gifts of the First People’s Garden Project. I couldn’t seem to find a connection with my other teammates or in any obvious way contribute in a productive sense. I wrote a reflection, which describes the way I was feeling one day.

When I am faced with a challenge or an obstacle, I rejoice. With fervor I tackle it with all my energy, with my mind I figure out how to complete it, conquer it. I find out everything I need to know in order to conquer this unknown. I give it everything I have. I did not want to have to do this with this project. I thought I was approaching this with reverence. I am baffled by my ineffectiveness, my inability to find my way. My inability to ask for or receive any help left me empty. I feel broken. Maybe the garden wants to die or maybe it senses something in me that is not pure. I surrender to my anguish. I release my intention. I am defeated as I pick up the broken pieces.

Upon finishing the above writing I got on my computer. I had emailed Marja the night before with some of my concerns and requested some guidance. As I was logging on, I received at that moment, her response. It was as if as I was pouring out my feelings on paper she was responding to my soul felt despair. This is some of what she wrote in my midterm evaluation email:

Dear Elizabeth,
The word that sings out to me about your journal is "gentleness."  It reveals a profound gentleness in your spirit that manifests in how you observe and perceive the world around you.  My only urging would be that you include a bit more about yourself - as I was discussing in class.  Explore that season you love so much (fall) WITHIN yourself as well as around you.  How are you "different" at this time of year, this year and each year?  A wise man I respect very much once told me that people have different lives, one for each season, that arise with the season, submerge and then arise again in each year.  Is there any truth in that for you? 

So, about the Gifts Garden.  I can tell that you are truly called to it.  Otherwise you wouldn't have made the effort you have made and you wouldn't have the sense of loss you have about it not working out well.  I also want to say that I really loved how you expressed your feelings about Sonja's sharing - especially when you said it was like the "elements speaking."  See, there's that subtle, perceptive gentleness I was talking about...  As for the project in the future:  I still feel as I did the other night.  Let it be complete for now.  Let us consider and present the options for next quarter.  Let what comes be brand new.  People change.  Schedules change.  The season changes.  Needs change...Even if you only set it aside for a week or two... Don't give up on it.  But don't hold on to what you envisioned.  I believe that, if you can do this, something very rewarding will work itself out that neither you nor I would be able to see at this moment.

Just my thoughts.
Hope some of this helps.  Your thoughts and questions are welcomed. 
Marja

I think this speaks for itself. I felt encouraged and I began to seek a new perspective. I just did what was in front of me without any of the normal expectations and the hurried need for identifiable results. I felt a new and different sense of purpose begin to flow in to me. I began to see that I have a death grip on my own expectations that is no longer useful and now is the time to begin releasing it, and redefining my own sense of self in relation to this season and the sadness and sense of loss that I always associated with it.

One more recent encounter stands out. I woke up one Friday morning in week eight and discovered I had the day off and the sun was shinning. Robin, a member of the Gift’s Garden Project team came to my mind. I thought to give her a call and see if she would like to accompany me to the garden. The last time we had made the attempt we were completely rained out. I called her number a couple of times and the line was busy. I then thought I would just go up by myself.

As I prepared for the trip I realized I needed some trail mix and a couple of other things from the Co-op. I usually shop at the Westside Co-op and sometimes at the Eastside. On this particular day I decided to go to the Eastside for no particular reason that I can recall. I met up with Robin coincidentally at that Eastside Co-op which is very unusual as we both usually shop at the one on the Westside.

We got to talk about what was going on and I invited her to come up to the garden with me. She said that she was meeting someone there and probably had other plans but she wasn’t sure so there was a possibility that she could go. I was hopeful. I finished my shopping as did she and she made a call to the person she was meeting apparently something had come up and that person could not make it.

Off we went to the garden. Our time in the garden was interesting. Robin spent time communing with the garden and writing. I pulled weeds in the berry patch, which was difficult as there was a thick layer of fallen leaves covering everything. I also wrote some notes and we took a few pictures of the sleeping garden. The temperature began dropping as the night descended we packed up our stuff and said good night to the Gift’s of the First People’s Garden.