Interdisciplinary Psychology:

The field trip to the EMP was a great experience for me. Although the museum was enjoyable, spending time with and getting to know the other people in our class was the best part.

Every day at work I enjoy looking at a picture of my sons standing in front of the guitar sculpture from a trip to the museum 4 years ago. The last time I visited the EMP the Hendrix exhibit was there and I was disappointed that I was unable to view it again.  Examining the exhibits and watching people experience the museum was a relaxing way to spend the day. I spent much of my time in the museum by myself. This was great because I could linger in the different areas for as long as I pleased…or pass by something if I felt like it. The other positive aspect of hanging by myself was I could be silent and reflect on my own feelings about what I was observing and feeling. I found the American Sabor exhibit enlightening. What I noticed in the short films was the sense of community surrounding music in the Latino culture. Music in the Latino world consisted of happy times when bringing their community together with dance and food. I spent time outside examining the EMP building itself. I recall the last time I visited the museum the weather was overcast. This time the sun was out and I was able to really appreciate its artistic beauty. I love anything glittery or shiny, what can I say?

The ability to forgive is a skill I work on every day. I forgive those who have hurt me because holding onto the act creates ugliness within me. When I choose to hold onto offenses I become angry and hateful, a condition I refuse to live in.

Forgiving and letting go of the offenses committed by others comes easier than forgiving myself. It is so easy to beat myself up for the collateral damage my choices have made on the lives of my family. I have been working on only taking the blame for acts I am directly responsible for and letting my son take responsibility for his mistakes. I believed I was doing a great job (although extremely painful) of not being co-dependent and administering tough love towards my son. During a conversation this week about his progress, a very good friend brought to my attention the degree to which I blame myself for his problems.This week I had the opportunity to grow in the area of altruism and empathy.

What does a beautiful day look like for me? This was really difficult for me to put together. I work 40 hours per week and  besides this class am participating in a10-credit internship with the Department of Corrections. So I spent this past week racking my brain, what fabulous thing could I do for myself? A day spa, with a massage and a pedicure, ya that’s it…no that’s stupid when you would find time? Stress level is rising.  

This morning the pressure was on. What can I do for me? Then I realized every day of my life is a beautiful day. I have the freedom to feel safe and do whatever I want. Anywhere, anytime.  When I am unhappy (can I say that?) I evaluate why I feel that way.  Usually I conclude that I am doing exactly what I choose to do at that moment, after all I am the captain of my ship. When I realize that, I immediately feel relieved and peaceful with my decision.

The book answered many of the why questions I have asked myself over the past decade. I am so tired of my friends telling me I am the strongest person they know. They tell me they wish they could be more like me. Well, I always tell them the only way to do that would be to go through what I have in last few years. I wouldn’t wish that on ANYONE.  I never viewed my ability to continue to constantly seek the positive and beauty in life as a strength, I’m more content to view it as being resilient.

My three blessings and the gratitude letter turned out to be closely related. I was asked to babysit my best friends 4 children this weekend while there mother was in an out of the area hospital. The task of watching four children, might seem daunting in itself, but add to that their ages; 6, 3, 2, 9 months. Well, I was confident of a full filled week-end. I planned to have activities that included homework for all (OK mostly for me). Then another good friend of my dashed my dreams by asking, “How many are in diapers?” This was definitely not in my plans, and the answer to the burning question is 3.