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The Resilience FactorSubmitted by Adam on Mon, 02/18/2008 - 2:57am.
Normally I despise the phrase/paradigm “Self-Help Book” however, I was surprised to discover Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatte’s The Resilience Factor is one of the few books I have read of its genre that has left a considerable and profound imprint on my consciousness.One of the thing that was rare about this book for me was that I found the book’s initial resilience intakes to have been very skillfully constructed. The questions were presented in a highly specialized framework that forced me to take a hard, closer look at the core beliefs that shape my worldview, how my unique worldview gets translated into my relationships and how my current coping strategies have both served and limited my overall resilience. In taking the tests I was shocked to find that I was slightly below average in some of the resilience skills—namely impulse control and emotional regulation. Having respect for the manner in which the questions were presented, the results came as a rude wake-up call (for emotional regulation I projected that I would be in at least 70-80 percentile), but it succeeded in hooking me into the material and got me emotionally and intellectually invested in the learning the techniques. Having been in Mark’s Theories of Counseling class last quarter—which focused heavily on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy—I found myself appreciating the authors for being able to concisely articulate the nuances of CBT which forms the backbone of their approach to resilience (i.e. ABC model, detecting Icebergs, challenging beliefs). In many ways I found the reading to be similar to having an in depth session with a skilled therapist. They would introduce a topic such as “Causal Logic”—“me” vs. “not-me” always vs. not always, everything vs. not everything” and gradually, as the chapter went on, the content and questions raised became more that personalized and probing. As a reader this gradual introduction method was very effective in pealing back the many layers of ego and forcing me to look at the various weaknesses within myself from which I have subconsciously tried to disassociate. The way I could tell this was happening was that there were be times, when in the course of reflecting on the causes of an of a certain adversity, I would catch myself hesitating to answer my own questions because the truth made me feel exposed and vulnerable. Ultimately though, I believe the result of having touched vulnerability is that you become more self-aware and integrated in your actions. Reading the chapter on challenging beliefs was particularly powerful for me. To give some context, I have recently been on an emotional rollercoaster in trying to understand and unpack adversities in an ongoing intimate relationship. Though I was skeptical at the time, I went ahead and applied the seven step process they outline. By the time that I had completed step 3 (1- outlined ABC’s, 2-made a pie chart of causes and whether they were changeable or not 3- Identified my explanatory style in the relationship) clarity and insight clicked all at once and I was able to get in touch with the deeper iceberg that had been bothering me all along. This was an exhilarating process.I know that I have gotten a lot out of my exposure to The Resilience Factor because I have come away from the reading with the feeling of having just barely scratched the surface of its potential. The writing is simple and to the point. Its main purpose is to get you to act; to use the tools and exercises in order to uncover the icebergs that have been floating around in your psyche for years, unconsciously inhibiting your awareness and growth potential. This is a workbook, putting the ball in the reader’s court. If you want to change you have to do the work, look honestly and objectively at “the evidence” and have the courage and perseverance to challenge thoughts, emotions and belief patterns that generate distress. My intention is to put in that time and effort.
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