Interdisciplinary Psychology:

1)The Uncovering Phase: For this activity I chose a man I used to work for. I worked for him as a roofer/foreman for five years. We had started a roof replacement on a one story rambler. The plan was to tear it off put new paper on one day and put new shingles on the next. Everything went well the first day but that night it snowed. To make matters worse a leak had developed in one of the valleys. I got the crew to agree to roof over to the valley so that the leak would stop. As we were finishing about noon cold and fairly miserable the boss pulled up. When I told him that we were going home he lost it. He started yelling for us to get back on the roof at some point the grabbed me by the throat. Then he told us to get back on the roof and left. Everyone else went back to work I did not. I left and never worked for him again. He did not really hurt me but I felt very embarrassed and mad that he could treat me like that in front of my crew and my feeling were hurt.

2)The Decision Phase: I realize that carrying around a resentment does me more harm than the person I hold it towards. After all if I am having negative thoughts about someone then I get all the benefits of the of the negative thoughts. While the person I have the resentment towards goes unaffected or even aware of the energy I am putting into it.

3)The Work Phase: If I put myself in his shoes I can just image the stress he felt. He most likely had the customer on the phone making demands reminding him of his commitment to finish in two days threatening to withhold payment or even a law suit. He may have had already committed that payment money to anyone of a number of creditors such as roofing suppliers, L&I insurance, employee health insurance, fuel, rent, payroll to name a few. Where I was concerned about my physical comfort and dignity he had much more at stake.

4)The Deepening Phase: During the five years I worked for this man he treated better than most of my previous employers. He always kept me working through the winter. He would give me as much as three weeks off in June/July unheard of in the roofing business. We have spoken a number of times since the events of that day and it has been more or less cordial enough. I believe I have made peace with him. In the process of doing this activity I see that I had not completely forgiven him. Having taken the time to work through all four phases I know I have.

Not only am I sure I have forgiven him completely. But I believe he would be a good candidate for a gratitude letter.

Delwin