Hey Everybody!

I love fire performance. I love sideshow performance. Fire performance is usually part of the sideshow. When I lived in NYC (prior to my circus times) I would train out to Coney Island to watch Sideshows by the Seashore. I was fascinated with the performers. I wanted to know them but I was too afraid. I wasn’t afraid of them.  I was afraid that I would not be good enough for them. They possessed magic powers to me.

Now, before I tell you about my time in the circus, I would like to say that I am not circus. I would like to be but I am not. My time in the circus was brief and I do not recall a lot about it, especially the lingo. In 1993 I ran away and joined the Big Apple Circus due to some friends I have who got me a job on tent crew. The plan was for me to work on tent crew and then eventually work with my friends who were groomers for the horse act.  I took the Greyhound from Seattle to Queens and there I filled out paperwork and got my Circus I.D. (You will notice a different first name. This is my former name and is no longer legal or valid)

After reuniting with my friends I went straight to “work”.  I had arrived in time to see the second show of the day. It was explained to me that my job was to operate the “back flap” during performances so I must watch the show and pay attention to the live band during the show and identify the music cues for performer and animal entrances and exits.

Basically, I was a doorman for the performers. But it was critical to keep the tent flaps closed tight and opened and closed as quickly as possible for the performers. The elephants would head for any light once they were backstage. The underwater scene required pitch black so me and my two other tent crew members would sprint around the big top at a certain music cue and lower the venting flaps to shut out light. The underwater scene was a great glow in the dark kaleidoscope of dancing and acrobatics to the tune “Under the Sea”.  Most of the performers were from overseas (har-dee-har-har). Malaysia, Czechoslovakia, what was Yugoslavia, Russia, etc.  I learned the music cues quickly and developed a silent repertoire with the performers, who were always gracious and would give me a smile. There were acrobats, jugglers, contortionists, aerialists, dogs, horses, elephants, and two clowns, Gordo, the star of the show, and Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish was American born and a philosophy professor who decided that he was happiest clowning. I have long forgotten his real name and most of the details of his story. He was very gentle and kind. He  helped me to navigate how to behave with the performers. You see, performers really had nothing to do with staff. They were a kind of royalty and did not associate or socialize with any of us. I was told by Mr. Fish to just not talk. He said they hated loud Americans and if I am silent and polite they will like me. It totally worked.

There were three two hour shows a day if I recall correctly. The rest of the time was maintenance type work and the inevitable  tear down, location site marking, and putting the tent up when we would haul to another burrough in NYC.  Everyone had a job during tear down and raising the big top. I worked with two guys that I did not get along with. They did not appreciate the supervisor hiring a woman onto tent crew, and I was punk rock, and they were hicks. I was up for the challenge. I spent my fair share on top of the tent with my tent crew cursing and screaming at one another and threatening to release each others  carabiners. It really was a fun time when I look back on it. We were freely expressing our hate for each other and it was rather healthy.

The constant feeling of magic began to ebb. The bad food and the hate between me and my crew members  finally got to me. When we went to Dublin Ohio I could not take it any longer. My supervisor had screamed at me for being late for raising the big top. I was in a separate car for the caravan and we had stopped to see some of their friends in a little town on the way.  I was screamed at for the last time. I quit the circus and so did my friend Theo. We spent a week in Columbus Ohio exploring and trying to get a ride share to the west coast but then we hopped a Greyhound to Seattle.

There is a great documentary series on PBS about the BAC  http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/big-apple-circus/

After that adventure I was hooked on all things circus and sideshow. I wanted to learn to eat fire. Jim Rose’s Sideshow was taking off and strangely I ended up moving next door to one of their performers Tim Cridland. I learned to eat and manipulate fire from him. After we had been friends for a while he knocked on my door one sunny day and asked if I would take pictures of him swallowing a sword.  He was at the skill level where he could keep it down for some time and he wanted a photo. In the yard between our houses, he took a sip of water and plunged the sword down his throat. I snapped a photo just as he had removed the sword to projectile vomit the water. He was having a hard time. I kept snapping as he was having to remove it. It was rather funny. Finally he was able to keep it down long enough for me to get a photo. It was his camera and I never did see the pictures. There must be several photos of him projectile vomiting water into the air. Since then Tim has become highly skilled at what he does. He has spent years and years practicing these things and what he does is very dangerous. He is known as Zamora, the Torture King http://www.mindandmatter.net/ 

After a photo of me eating fire was published in a free publication in Seattle I was  contacted by a belly dancer and her band about performing fire with them. I joined Sahar’s Kundalini Theatre. We were live music, belly dance, and fire eating. I did not belly dance. Sahar would have guest dancers perform with her. I would eat and manipulate fire while she and other dancers would change costumes. We performed at restaurants and opened for bands in clubs. We performed at  a benefit for Hemp-Fest at a loft in SoDo. We also did Seattle Mediterranean Festival in ’98. It was great fun. I quit the troupe because my private life was going down the toilet. That’s a whole other story.

I did not breathe fire as part of my act in the past.  I  felt it was too dangerous. I had only learned to eat fire and do fire manipulations from Tim. I was too afraid to breathe fire after an attempt on my own that scared me.

In 2011 I saw a fire troupe perform in Tumwater. I approached them about practicing and learning new things. I ended up joining and performing with Midgard’s Flame. Thanks to the matriarch and patriarch of that troupe I learned how to become a competent and confident fire breather and I became a better performer.

Hey Everybody!

I love fire performance. I love sideshow performance. Fire performance is usually part of the sideshow. When I lived in NYC (prior to my circus times) I would train out to Coney Island to watch Sideshows by the Seashore. I was fascinated with the performers. I wanted to know them but I was too afraid. I wasn’t afraid of them.  I was afraid that I would not be good enough for them. They possessed magic powers to me.

Now, before I tell you about my time in the circus, I would like to say that I am not circus. I would like to be but I am not. My time in the circus was brief and I do not recall a lot about it, especially the lingo. In 1993 I ran away and joined the Big Apple Circus due to some friends I have who got me a job on tent crew. The plan was for me to work on tent crew and then eventually work with my friends who were groomers for the horse act.  I took the Greyhound from Seattle to Queens and there I filled out paperwork and got my Circus I.D. (You will notice a different first name. This is my former name and is no longer legal or valid)

After reuniting with my friends I went straight to “work”.  I had arrived in time to see the second show of the day. It was explained to me that my job was to operate the “back flap” during performances so I must watch the show and pay attention to the live band during the show and identify the music cues for performer and animal entrances and exits.

Basically, I was a doorman for the performers. But it was critical to keep the tent flaps closed tight and opened and closed as quickly as possible for the performers. The elephants would head for any light once they were backstage. The underwater scene required pitch black so me and my two other tent crew members would sprint around the big top at a certain music cue and lower the venting flaps to shut out light. The underwater scene was a great glow in the dark kaleidoscope of dancing and acrobatics to the tune “Under the Sea”.  Most of the performers were from overseas (har-dee-har-har). Malaysia, Czechoslovakia, what was Yugoslavia, Russia, etc.  I learned the music cues quickly and developed a silent repertoire with the performers, who were always gracious and would give me a smile. There were acrobats, jugglers, contortionists, aerialists, dogs, horses, elephants, and two clowns, Gordo, the star of the show, and Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish was American born and a philosophy professor who decided that he was happiest clowning. I have long forgotten his real name and most of the details of his story. He was very gentle and kind. He  helped me to navigate how to behave with the performers. You see, performers really had nothing to do with staff. They were a kind of royalty and did not associate or socialize with any of us. I was told by Mr. Fish to just not talk. He said they hated loud Americans and if I am silent and polite they will like me. It totally worked.

There were three two hour shows a day if I recall correctly. The rest of the time was maintenance type work and the inevitable  tear down, location site marking, and putting the tent up when we would haul to another burrough in NYC.  Everyone had a job during tear down and raising the big top. I worked with two guys that I did not get along with. They did not appreciate the supervisor hiring a woman onto tent crew, and I was punk rock, and they were hicks. I was up for the challenge. I spent my fair share on top of the tent with my tent crew cursing and screaming at one another and threatening to release each others  carabiners. It really was a fun time when I look back on it. We were freely expressing our hate for each other and it was rather healthy.

The constant feeling of magic began to ebb. The bad food and the hate between me and my crew members  finally got to me. When we went to Dublin Ohio I could not take it any longer. My supervisor had screamed at me for being late for raising the big top. I was in a separate car for the caravan and we had stopped to see some of their friends in a little town on the way.  I was screamed at for the last time. I quit the circus and so did my friend Theo. We spent a week in Columbus Ohio exploring and trying to get a ride share to the west coast but then we hopped a Greyhound to Seattle.

There is a great documentary series on PBS about the BAC  http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/big-apple-circus/

After that adventure I was hooked on all things circus and sideshow. I wanted to learn to eat fire. Jim Rose’s Sideshow was taking off and strangely I ended up moving next door to one of their performers Tim Cridland. I learned to eat and manipulate fire from him. After we had been friends for a while he knocked on my door one sunny day and asked if I would take pictures of him swallowing a sword.  He was at the skill level where he could keep it down for some time and he wanted a photo. In the yard between our houses, he took a sip of water and plunged the sword down his throat. I snapped a photo just as he had removed the sword to projectile vomit the water. He was having a hard time. I kept snapping as he was having to remove it. It was rather funny. Finally he was able to keep it down long enough for me to get a photo. It was his camera and I never did see the pictures. There must be several photos of him projectile vomiting water into the air. Since then Tim has become highly skilled at what he does. He has spent years and years practicing these things and what he does is very dangerous. He is known as Zamora, the Torture King http://www.mindandmatter.net/ 

After a photo of me eating fire was published in a free publication in Seattle I was  contacted by a belly dancer and her band about performing fire with them. I joined Sahar’s Kundalini Theatre. We were live music, belly dance, and fire eating. I did not belly dance. Sahar would have guest dancers perform with her. I would eat and manipulate fire while she and other dancers would change costumes. We performed at restaurants and opened for bands in clubs. We performed at  a benefit for Hemp-Fest at a loft in SoDo. We also did Seattle Mediterranean Festival in ’98. It was great fun. I quit the troupe because my private life was going down the toilet. That’s a whole other story.

I did not breathe fire as part of my act in the past.  I  felt it was too dangerous. I had only learned to eat fire and do fire manipulations from Tim. I was too afraid to breathe fire after an attempt on my own that scared me.

In 2011 I saw a fire troupe perform in Tumwater. I approached them about practicing and learning new things. I ended up joining and performing with Midgard’s Flame. Thanks to the matriarch and patriarch of that troupe I learned how to become a competent and confident fire breather and I became a better performer.

Hey Everybody!

I love fire performance. I love sideshow performance. Fire performance is usually part of the sideshow. When I lived in NYC (prior to my circus times) I would train out to Coney Island to watch Sideshows by the Seashore. I was fascinated with the performers. I wanted to know them but I was too afraid. I wasn’t afraid of them.  I was afraid that I would not be good enough for them. They possessed magic powers to me.

Now, before I tell you about my time in the circus, I would like to say that I am not circus. I would like to be but I am not. My time in the circus was brief and I do not recall a lot about it, especially the lingo. In 1993 I ran away and joined the Big Apple Circus due to some friends I have who got me a job on tent crew. The plan was for me to work on tent crew and then eventually work with my friends who were groomers for the horse act.  I took the Greyhound from Seattle to Queens and there I filled out paperwork and got my Circus I.D. (You will notice a different first name. This is my former name and is no longer legal or valid)

After reuniting with my friends I went straight to “work”.  I had arrived in time to see the second show of the day. It was explained to me that my job was to operate the “back flap” during performances so I must watch the show and pay attention to the live band during the show and identify the music cues for performer and animal entrances and exits.

Basically, I was a doorman for the performers. But it was critical to keep the tent flaps closed tight and opened and closed as quickly as possible for the performers. The elephants would head for any light once they were backstage. The underwater scene required pitch black so me and my two other tent crew members would sprint around the big top at a certain music cue and lower the venting flaps to shut out light. The underwater scene was a great glow in the dark kaleidoscope of dancing and acrobatics to the tune “Under the Sea”.  Most of the performers were from overseas (har-dee-har-har). Malaysia, Czechoslovakia, what was Yugoslavia, Russia, etc.  I learned the music cues quickly and developed a silent repertoire with the performers, who were always gracious and would give me a smile. There were acrobats, jugglers, contortionists, aerialists, dogs, horses, elephants, and two clowns, Gordo, the star of the show, and Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish was American born and a philosophy professor who decided that he was happiest clowning. I have long forgotten his real name and most of the details of his story. He was very gentle and kind. He  helped me to navigate how to behave with the performers. You see, performers really had nothing to do with staff. They were a kind of royalty and did not associate or socialize with any of us. I was told by Mr. Fish to just not talk. He said they hated loud Americans and if I am silent and polite they will like me. It totally worked.

There were three two hour shows a day if I recall correctly. The rest of the time was maintenance type work and the inevitable  tear down, location site marking, and putting the tent up when we would haul to another burrough in NYC.  Everyone had a job during tear down and raising the big top. I worked with two guys that I did not get along with. They did not appreciate the supervisor hiring a woman onto tent crew, and I was punk rock, and they were hicks. I was up for the challenge. I spent my fair share on top of the tent with my tent crew cursing and screaming at one another and threatening to release each others  carabiners. It really was a fun time when I look back on it. We were freely expressing our hate for each other and it was rather healthy.

The constant feeling of magic began to ebb. The bad food and the hate between me and my crew members  finally got to me. When we went to Dublin Ohio I could not take it any longer. My supervisor had screamed at me for being late for raising the big top. I was in a separate car for the caravan and we had stopped to see some of their friends in a little town on the way.  I was screamed at for the last time. I quit the circus and so did my friend Theo. We spent a week in Columbus Ohio exploring and trying to get a ride share to the west coast but then we hopped a Greyhound to Seattle.

There is a great documentary series on PBS about the BAC  http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/big-apple-circus/

After that adventure I was hooked on all things circus and sideshow. I wanted to learn to eat fire. Jim Rose’s Sideshow was taking off and strangely I ended up moving next door to one of their performers Tim Cridland. I learned to eat and manipulate fire from him. After we had been friends for a while he knocked on my door one sunny day and asked if I would take pictures of him swallowing a sword.  He was at the skill level where he could keep it down for some time and he wanted a photo. In the yard between our houses, he took a sip of water and plunged the sword down his throat. I snapped a photo just as he had removed the sword to projectile vomit the water. He was having a hard time. I kept snapping as he was having to remove it. It was rather funny. Finally he was able to keep it down long enough for me to get a photo. It was his camera and I never did see the pictures. There must be several photos of him projectile vomiting water into the air. Since then Tim has become highly skilled at what he does. He has spent years and years practicing these things and what he does is very dangerous. He is known as Zamora, the Torture King http://www.mindandmatter.net/ 

After a photo of me eating fire was published in a free publication in Seattle I was  contacted by a belly dancer and her band about performing fire with them. I joined Sahar’s Kundalini Theatre. We were live music, belly dance, and fire eating. I did not belly dance. Sahar would have guest dancers perform with her. I would eat and manipulate fire while she and other dancers would change costumes. We performed at restaurants and opened for bands in clubs. We performed at  a benefit for Hemp-Fest at a loft in SoDo. We also did Seattle Mediterranean Festival in ’98. It was great fun. I quit the troupe because my private life was going down the toilet. That’s a whole other story.

I did not breathe fire as part of my act in the past.  I  felt it was too dangerous. I had only learned to eat fire and do fire manipulations from Tim. I was too afraid to breathe fire after an attempt on my own that scared me.

In 2011 I saw a fire troupe perform in Tumwater. I approached them about practicing and learning new things. I ended up joining and performing with Midgard’s Flame. Thanks to the matriarch and patriarch of that troupe I learned how to become a competent and confident fire breather and I became a better performer.

Hey Everybody!

I love fire performance. I love sideshow performance. Fire performance is usually part of the sideshow. When I lived in NYC (prior to my circus times) I would train out to Coney Island to watch Sideshows by the Seashore. I was fascinated with the performers. I wanted to know them but I was too afraid. I wasn’t afraid of them.  I was afraid that I would not be good enough for them. They possessed magic powers to me.

Now, before I tell you about my time in the circus, I would like to say that I am not circus. I would like to be but I am not. My time in the circus was brief and I do not recall a lot about it, especially the lingo. In 1993 I ran away and joined the Big Apple Circus due to some friends I have who got me a job on tent crew. The plan was for me to work on tent crew and then eventually work with my friends who were groomers for the horse act.  I took the Greyhound from Seattle to Queens and there I filled out paperwork and got my Circus I.D. (You will notice a different first name. This is my former name and is no longer legal or valid)

After reuniting with my friends I went straight to “work”.  I had arrived in time to see the second show of the day. It was explained to me that my job was to operate the “back flap” during performances so I must watch the show and pay attention to the live band during the show and identify the music cues for performer and animal entrances and exits.

Basically, I was a doorman for the performers. But it was critical to keep the tent flaps closed tight and opened and closed as quickly as possible for the performers. The elephants would head for any light once they were backstage. The underwater scene required pitch black so me and my two other tent crew members would sprint around the big top at a certain music cue and lower the venting flaps to shut out light. The underwater scene was a great glow in the dark kaleidoscope of dancing and acrobatics to the tune “Under the Sea”.  Most of the performers were from overseas (har-dee-har-har). Malaysia, Czechoslovakia, what was Yugoslavia, Russia, etc.  I learned the music cues quickly and developed a silent repertoire with the performers, who were always gracious and would give me a smile. There were acrobats, jugglers, contortionists, aerialists, dogs, horses, elephants, and two clowns, Gordo, the star of the show, and Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish was American born and a philosophy professor who decided that he was happiest clowning. I have long forgotten his real name and most of the details of his story. He was very gentle and kind. He  helped me to navigate how to behave with the performers. You see, performers really had nothing to do with staff. They were a kind of royalty and did not associate or socialize with any of us. I was told by Mr. Fish to just not talk. He said they hated loud Americans and if I am silent and polite they will like me. It totally worked.

There were three two hour shows a day if I recall correctly. The rest of the time was maintenance type work and the inevitable  tear down, location site marking, and putting the tent up when we would haul to another burrough in NYC.  Everyone had a job during tear down and raising the big top. I worked with two guys that I did not get along with. They did not appreciate the supervisor hiring a woman onto tent crew, and I was punk rock, and they were hicks. I was up for the challenge. I spent my fair share on top of the tent with my tent crew cursing and screaming at one another and threatening to release each others  carabiners. It really was a fun time when I look back on it. We were freely expressing our hate for each other and it was rather healthy.

The constant feeling of magic began to ebb. The bad food and the hate between me and my crew members  finally got to me. When we went to Dublin Ohio I could not take it any longer. My supervisor had screamed at me for being late for raising the big top. I was in a separate car for the caravan and we had stopped to see some of their friends in a little town on the way.  I was screamed at for the last time. I quit the circus and so did my friend Theo. We spent a week in Columbus Ohio exploring and trying to get a ride share to the west coast but then we hopped a Greyhound to Seattle.

There is a great documentary series on PBS about the BAC  http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/big-apple-circus/

After that adventure I was hooked on all things circus and sideshow. I wanted to learn to eat fire. Jim Rose’s Sideshow was taking off and strangely I ended up moving next door to one of their performers Tim Cridland. I learned to eat and manipulate fire from him. After we had been friends for a while he knocked on my door one sunny day and asked if I would take pictures of him swallowing a sword.  He was at the skill level where he could keep it down for some time and he wanted a photo. In the yard between our houses, he took a sip of water and plunged the sword down his throat. I snapped a photo just as he had removed the sword to projectile vomit the water. He was having a hard time. I kept snapping as he was having to remove it. It was rather funny. Finally he was able to keep it down long enough for me to get a photo. It was his camera and I never did see the pictures. There must be several photos of him projectile vomiting water into the air. Since then Tim has become highly skilled at what he does. He has spent years and years practicing these things and what he does is very dangerous. He is known as Zamora, the Torture King http://www.mindandmatter.net/ 

After a photo of me eating fire was published in a free publication in Seattle I was  contacted by a belly dancer and her band about performing fire with them. I joined Sahar’s Kundalini Theatre. We were live music, belly dance, and fire eating. I did not belly dance. Sahar would have guest dancers perform with her. I would eat and manipulate fire while she and other dancers would change costumes. We performed at restaurants and opened for bands in clubs. We performed at  a benefit for Hemp-Fest at a loft in SoDo. We also did Seattle Mediterranean Festival in ’98. It was great fun. I quit the troupe because my private life was going down the toilet. That’s a whole other story.

I did not breathe fire as part of my act in the past.  I  felt it was too dangerous. I had only learned to eat fire and do fire manipulations from Tim. I was too afraid to breathe fire after an attempt on my own that scared me.

In 2011 I saw a fire troupe perform in Tumwater. I approached them about practicing and learning new things. I ended up joining and performing with Midgard’s Flame. Thanks to the matriarch and patriarch of that troupe I learned how to become a competent and confident fire breather and I became a better performer.

Hey Everybody!

I love fire performance. I love sideshow performance. Fire performance is usually part of the sideshow. When I lived in NYC (prior to my circus times) I would train out to Coney Island to watch Sideshows by the Seashore. I was fascinated with the performers. I wanted to know them but I was too afraid. I wasn’t afraid of them.  I was afraid that I would not be good enough for them. They possessed magic powers to me.

Now, before I tell you about my time in the circus, I would like to say that I am not circus. I would like to be but I am not. My time in the circus was brief and I do not recall a lot about it, especially the lingo. In 1993 I ran away and joined the Big Apple Circus due to some friends I have who got me a job on tent crew. The plan was for me to work on tent crew and then eventually work with my friends who were groomers for the horse act.  I took the Greyhound from Seattle to Queens and there I filled out paperwork and got my Circus I.D. (You will notice a different first name. This is my former name and is no longer legal or valid)

After reuniting with my friends I went straight to “work”.  I had arrived in time to see the second show of the day. It was explained to me that my job was to operate the “back flap” during performances so I must watch the show and pay attention to the live band during the show and identify the music cues for performer and animal entrances and exits.

Basically, I was a doorman for the performers. But it was critical to keep the tent flaps closed tight and opened and closed as quickly as possible for the performers. The elephants would head for any light once they were backstage. The underwater scene required pitch black so me and my two other tent crew members would sprint around the big top at a certain music cue and lower the venting flaps to shut out light. The underwater scene was a great glow in the dark kaleidoscope of dancing and acrobatics to the tune “Under the Sea”.  Most of the performers were from overseas (har-dee-har-har). Malaysia, Czechoslovakia, what was Yugoslavia, Russia, etc.  I learned the music cues quickly and developed a silent repertoire with the performers, who were always gracious and would give me a smile. There were acrobats, jugglers, contortionists, aerialists, dogs, horses, elephants, and two clowns, Gordo, the star of the show, and Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish was American born and a philosophy professor who decided that he was happiest clowning. I have long forgotten his real name and most of the details of his story. He was very gentle and kind. He  helped me to navigate how to behave with the performers. You see, performers really had nothing to do with staff. They were a kind of royalty and did not associate or socialize with any of us. I was told by Mr. Fish to just not talk. He said they hated loud Americans and if I am silent and polite they will like me. It totally worked.

There were three two hour shows a day if I recall correctly. The rest of the time was maintenance type work and the inevitable  tear down, location site marking, and putting the tent up when we would haul to another burrough in NYC.  Everyone had a job during tear down and raising the big top. I worked with two guys that I did not get along with. They did not appreciate the supervisor hiring a woman onto tent crew, and I was punk rock, and they were hicks. I was up for the challenge. I spent my fair share on top of the tent with my tent crew cursing and screaming at one another and threatening to release each others  carabiners. It really was a fun time when I look back on it. We were freely expressing our hate for each other and it was rather healthy.

The constant feeling of magic began to ebb. The bad food and the hate between me and my crew members  finally got to me. When we went to Dublin Ohio I could not take it any longer. My supervisor had screamed at me for being late for raising the big top. I was in a separate car for the caravan and we had stopped to see some of their friends in a little town on the way.  I was screamed at for the last time. I quit the circus and so did my friend Theo. We spent a week in Columbus Ohio exploring and trying to get a ride share to the west coast but then we hopped a Greyhound to Seattle.

There is a great documentary series on PBS about the BAC  http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/big-apple-circus/

After that adventure I was hooked on all things circus and sideshow. I wanted to learn to eat fire. Jim Rose’s Sideshow was taking off and strangely I ended up moving next door to one of their performers Tim Cridland. I learned to eat and manipulate fire from him. After we had been friends for a while he knocked on my door one sunny day and asked if I would take pictures of him swallowing a sword.  He was at the skill level where he could keep it down for some time and he wanted a photo. In the yard between our houses, he took a sip of water and plunged the sword down his throat. I snapped a photo just as he had removed the sword to projectile vomit the water. He was having a hard time. I kept snapping as he was having to remove it. It was rather funny. Finally he was able to keep it down long enough for me to get a photo. It was his camera and I never did see the pictures. There must be several photos of him projectile vomiting water into the air. Since then Tim has become highly skilled at what he does. He has spent years and years practicing these things and what he does is very dangerous. He is known as Zamora, the Torture King http://www.mindandmatter.net/ 

After a photo of me eating fire was published in a free publication in Seattle I was  contacted by a belly dancer and her band about performing fire with them. I joined Sahar’s Kundalini Theatre. We were live music, belly dance, and fire eating. I did not belly dance. Sahar would have guest dancers perform with her. I would eat and manipulate fire while she and other dancers would change costumes. We performed at restaurants and opened for bands in clubs. We performed at  a benefit for Hemp-Fest at a loft in SoDo. We also did Seattle Mediterranean Festival in ’98. It was great fun. I quit the troupe because my private life was going down the toilet. That’s a whole other story.

I did not breathe fire as part of my act in the past.  I  felt it was too dangerous. I had only learned to eat fire and do fire manipulations from Tim. I was too afraid to breathe fire after an attempt on my own that scared me.

In 2011 I saw a fire troupe perform in Tumwater. I approached them about practicing and learning new things. I ended up joining and performing with Midgard’s Flame. Thanks to the matriarch and patriarch of that troupe I learned how to become a competent and confident fire breather and I became a better performer.

Hey Everybody!

I love fire performance. I love sideshow performance. Fire performance is usually part of the sideshow. When I lived in NYC (prior to my circus times) I would train out to Coney Island to watch Sideshows by the Seashore. I was fascinated with the performers. I wanted to know them but I was too afraid. I wasn’t afraid of them.  I was afraid that I would not be good enough for them. They possessed magic powers to me.

Now, before I tell you about my time in the circus, I would like to say that I am not circus. I would like to be but I am not. My time in the circus was brief and I do not recall a lot about it, especially the lingo. In 1993 I ran away and joined the Big Apple Circus due to some friends I have who got me a job on tent crew. The plan was for me to work on tent crew and then eventually work with my friends who were groomers for the horse act.  I took the Greyhound from Seattle to Queens and there I filled out paperwork and got my Circus I.D. (You will notice a different first name. This is my former name and is no longer legal or valid)

After reuniting with my friends I went straight to “work”.  I had arrived in time to see the second show of the day. It was explained to me that my job was to operate the “back flap” during performances so I must watch the show and pay attention to the live band during the show and identify the music cues for performer and animal entrances and exits.

Basically, I was a doorman for the performers. But it was critical to keep the tent flaps closed tight and opened and closed as quickly as possible for the performers. The elephants would head for any light once they were backstage. The underwater scene required pitch black so me and my two other tent crew members would sprint around the big top at a certain music cue and lower the venting flaps to shut out light. The underwater scene was a great glow in the dark kaleidoscope of dancing and acrobatics to the tune “Under the Sea”.  Most of the performers were from overseas (har-dee-har-har). Malaysia, Czechoslovakia, what was Yugoslavia, Russia, etc.  I learned the music cues quickly and developed a silent repertoire with the performers, who were always gracious and would give me a smile. There were acrobats, jugglers, contortionists, aerialists, dogs, horses, elephants, and two clowns, Gordo, the star of the show, and Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish was American born and a philosophy professor who decided that he was happiest clowning. I have long forgotten his real name and most of the details of his story. He was very gentle and kind. He  helped me to navigate how to behave with the performers. You see, performers really had nothing to do with staff. They were a kind of royalty and did not associate or socialize with any of us. I was told by Mr. Fish to just not talk. He said they hated loud Americans and if I am silent and polite they will like me. It totally worked.

There were three two hour shows a day if I recall correctly. The rest of the time was maintenance type work and the inevitable  tear down, location site marking, and putting the tent up when we would haul to another burrough in NYC.  Everyone had a job during tear down and raising the big top. I worked with two guys that I did not get along with. They did not appreciate the supervisor hiring a woman onto tent crew, and I was punk rock, and they were hicks. I was up for the challenge. I spent my fair share on top of the tent with my tent crew cursing and screaming at one another and threatening to release each others  carabiners. It really was a fun time when I look back on it. We were freely expressing our hate for each other and it was rather healthy.

The constant feeling of magic began to ebb. The bad food and the hate between me and my crew members  finally got to me. When we went to Dublin Ohio I could not take it any longer. My supervisor had screamed at me for being late for raising the big top. I was in a separate car for the caravan and we had stopped to see some of their friends in a little town on the way.  I was screamed at for the last time. I quit the circus and so did my friend Theo. We spent a week in Columbus Ohio exploring and trying to get a ride share to the west coast but then we hopped a Greyhound to Seattle.

There is a great documentary series on PBS about the BAC  http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/big-apple-circus/

After that adventure I was hooked on all things circus and sideshow. I wanted to learn to eat fire. Jim Rose’s Sideshow was taking off and strangely I ended up moving next door to one of their performers Tim Cridland. I learned to eat and manipulate fire from him. After we had been friends for a while he knocked on my door one sunny day and asked if I would take pictures of him swallowing a sword.  He was at the skill level where he could keep it down for some time and he wanted a photo. In the yard between our houses, he took a sip of water and plunged the sword down his throat. I snapped a photo just as he had removed the sword to projectile vomit the water. He was having a hard time. I kept snapping as he was having to remove it. It was rather funny. Finally he was able to keep it down long enough for me to get a photo. It was his camera and I never did see the pictures. There must be several photos of him projectile vomiting water into the air. Since then Tim has become highly skilled at what he does. He has spent years and years practicing these things and what he does is very dangerous. He is known as Zamora, the Torture King http://www.mindandmatter.net/ 

After a photo of me eating fire was published in a free publication in Seattle I was  contacted by a belly dancer and her band about performing fire with them. I joined Sahar’s Kundalini Theatre. We were live music, belly dance, and fire eating. I did not belly dance. Sahar would have guest dancers perform with her. I would eat and manipulate fire while she and other dancers would change costumes. We performed at restaurants and opened for bands in clubs. We performed at  a benefit for Hemp-Fest at a loft in SoDo. We also did Seattle Mediterranean Festival in ’98. It was great fun. I quit the troupe because my private life was going down the toilet. That’s a whole other story.

I did not breathe fire as part of my act in the past.  I  felt it was too dangerous. I had only learned to eat fire and do fire manipulations from Tim. I was too afraid to breathe fire after an attempt on my own that scared me.

In 2011 I saw a fire troupe perform in Tumwater. I approached them about practicing and learning new things. I ended up joining and performing with Midgard’s Flame. Thanks to the matriarch and patriarch of that troupe I learned how to become a competent and confident fire breather and I became a better performer.

Hey Everybody!

I love fire performance. I love sideshow performance. Fire performance is usually part of the sideshow. When I lived in NYC (prior to my circus times) I would train out to Coney Island to watch Sideshows by the Seashore. I was fascinated with the performers. I wanted to know them but I was too afraid. I wasn’t afraid of them.  I was afraid that I would not be good enough for them. They possessed magic powers to me.

Now, before I tell you about my time in the circus, I would like to say that I am not circus. I would like to be but I am not. My time in the circus was brief and I do not recall a lot about it, especially the lingo. In 1993 I ran away and joined the Big Apple Circus due to some friends I have who got me a job on tent crew. The plan was for me to work on tent crew and then eventually work with my friends who were groomers for the horse act.  I took the Greyhound from Seattle to Queens and there I filled out paperwork and got my Circus I.D. (You will notice a different first name. This is my former name and is no longer legal or valid)

After reuniting with my friends I went straight to “work”.  I had arrived in time to see the second show of the day. It was explained to me that my job was to operate the “back flap” during performances so I must watch the show and pay attention to the live band during the show and identify the music cues for performer and animal entrances and exits.

Basically, I was a doorman for the performers. But it was critical to keep the tent flaps closed tight and opened and closed as quickly as possible for the performers. The elephants would head for any light once they were backstage. The underwater scene required pitch black so me and my two other tent crew members would sprint around the big top at a certain music cue and lower the venting flaps to shut out light. The underwater scene was a great glow in the dark kaleidoscope of dancing and acrobatics to the tune “Under the Sea”.  Most of the performers were from overseas (har-dee-har-har). Malaysia, Czechoslovakia, what was Yugoslavia, Russia, etc.  I learned the music cues quickly and developed a silent repertoire with the performers, who were always gracious and would give me a smile. There were acrobats, jugglers, contortionists, aerialists, dogs, horses, elephants, and two clowns, Gordo, the star of the show, and Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish was American born and a philosophy professor who decided that he was happiest clowning. I have long forgotten his real name and most of the details of his story. He was very gentle and kind. He  helped me to navigate how to behave with the performers. You see, performers really had nothing to do with staff. They were a kind of royalty and did not associate or socialize with any of us. I was told by Mr. Fish to just not talk. He said they hated loud Americans and if I am silent and polite they will like me. It totally worked.

There were three two hour shows a day if I recall correctly. The rest of the time was maintenance type work and the inevitable  tear down, location site marking, and putting the tent up when we would haul to another burrough in NYC.  Everyone had a job during tear down and raising the big top. I worked with two guys that I did not get along with. They did not appreciate the supervisor hiring a woman onto tent crew, and I was punk rock, and they were hicks. I was up for the challenge. I spent my fair share on top of the tent with my tent crew cursing and screaming at one another and threatening to release each others  carabiners. It really was a fun time when I look back on it. We were freely expressing our hate for each other and it was rather healthy.

The constant feeling of magic began to ebb. The bad food and the hate between me and my crew members  finally got to me. When we went to Dublin Ohio I could not take it any longer. My supervisor had screamed at me for being late for raising the big top. I was in a separate car for the caravan and we had stopped to see some of their friends in a little town on the way.  I was screamed at for the last time. I quit the circus and so did my friend Theo. We spent a week in Columbus Ohio exploring and trying to get a ride share to the west coast but then we hopped a Greyhound to Seattle.

There is a great documentary series on PBS about the BAC  http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/big-apple-circus/

After that adventure I was hooked on all things circus and sideshow. I wanted to learn to eat fire. Jim Rose’s Sideshow was taking off and strangely I ended up moving next door to one of their performers Tim Cridland. I learned to eat and manipulate fire from him. After we had been friends for a while he knocked on my door one sunny day and asked if I would take pictures of him swallowing a sword.  He was at the skill level where he could keep it down for some time and he wanted a photo. In the yard between our houses, he took a sip of water and plunged the sword down his throat. I snapped a photo just as he had removed the sword to projectile vomit the water. He was having a hard time. I kept snapping as he was having to remove it. It was rather funny. Finally he was able to keep it down long enough for me to get a photo. It was his camera and I never did see the pictures. There must be several photos of him projectile vomiting water into the air. Since then Tim has become highly skilled at what he does. He has spent years and years practicing these things and what he does is very dangerous. He is known as Zamora, the Torture King http://www.mindandmatter.net/ 

After a photo of me eating fire was published in a free publication in Seattle I was  contacted by a belly dancer and her band about performing fire with them. I joined Sahar’s Kundalini Theatre. We were live music, belly dance, and fire eating. I did not belly dance. Sahar would have guest dancers perform with her. I would eat and manipulate fire while she and other dancers would change costumes. We performed at restaurants and opened for bands in clubs. We performed at  a benefit for Hemp-Fest at a loft in SoDo. We also did Seattle Mediterranean Festival in ’98. It was great fun. I quit the troupe because my private life was going down the toilet. That’s a whole other story.

I did not breathe fire as part of my act in the past.  I  felt it was too dangerous. I had only learned to eat fire and do fire manipulations from Tim. I was too afraid to breathe fire after an attempt on my own that scared me.

In 2011 I saw a fire troupe perform in Tumwater. I approached them about practicing and learning new things. I ended up joining and performing with Midgard’s Flame. Thanks to the matriarch and patriarch of that troupe I learned how to become a competent and confident fire breather and I became a better performer.

Hey Everybody!

I love fire performance. I love sideshow performance. Fire performance is usually part of the sideshow. When I lived in NYC (prior to my circus times) I would train out to Coney Island to watch Sideshows by the Seashore. I was fascinated with the performers. I wanted to know them but I was too afraid. I wasn’t afraid of them.  I was afraid that I would not be good enough for them. They possessed magic powers to me.

Now, before I tell you about my time in the circus, I would like to say that I am not circus. I would like to be but I am not. My time in the circus was brief and I do not recall a lot about it, especially the lingo. In 1993 I ran away and joined the Big Apple Circus due to some friends I have who got me a job on tent crew. The plan was for me to work on tent crew and then eventually work with my friends who were groomers for the horse act.  I took the Greyhound from Seattle to Queens and there I filled out paperwork and got my Circus I.D. (You will notice a different first name. This is my former name and is no longer legal or valid)

After reuniting with my friends I went straight to “work”.  I had arrived in time to see the second show of the day. It was explained to me that my job was to operate the “back flap” during performances so I must watch the show and pay attention to the live band during the show and identify the music cues for performer and animal entrances and exits.

Basically, I was a doorman for the performers. But it was critical to keep the tent flaps closed tight and opened and closed as quickly as possible for the performers. The elephants would head for any light once they were backstage. The underwater scene required pitch black so me and my two other tent crew members would sprint around the big top at a certain music cue and lower the venting flaps to shut out light. The underwater scene was a great glow in the dark kaleidoscope of dancing and acrobatics to the tune “Under the Sea”.  Most of the performers were from overseas (har-dee-har-har). Malaysia, Czechoslovakia, what was Yugoslavia, Russia, etc.  I learned the music cues quickly and developed a silent repertoire with the performers, who were always gracious and would give me a smile. There were acrobats, jugglers, contortionists, aerialists, dogs, horses, elephants, and two clowns, Gordo, the star of the show, and Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish was American born and a philosophy professor who decided that he was happiest clowning. I have long forgotten his real name and most of the details of his story. He was very gentle and kind. He  helped me to navigate how to behave with the performers. You see, performers really had nothing to do with staff. They were a kind of royalty and did not associate or socialize with any of us. I was told by Mr. Fish to just not talk. He said they hated loud Americans and if I am silent and polite they will like me. It totally worked.

There were three two hour shows a day if I recall correctly. The rest of the time was maintenance type work and the inevitable  tear down, location site marking, and putting the tent up when we would haul to another burrough in NYC.  Everyone had a job during tear down and raising the big top. I worked with two guys that I did not get along with. They did not appreciate the supervisor hiring a woman onto tent crew, and I was punk rock, and they were hicks. I was up for the challenge. I spent my fair share on top of the tent with my tent crew cursing and screaming at one another and threatening to release each others  carabiners. It really was a fun time when I look back on it. We were freely expressing our hate for each other and it was rather healthy.

The constant feeling of magic began to ebb. The bad food and the hate between me and my crew members  finally got to me. When we went to Dublin Ohio I could not take it any longer. My supervisor had screamed at me for being late for raising the big top. I was in a separate car for the caravan and we had stopped to see some of their friends in a little town on the way.  I was screamed at for the last time. I quit the circus and so did my friend Theo. We spent a week in Columbus Ohio exploring and trying to get a ride share to the west coast but then we hopped a Greyhound to Seattle.

There is a great documentary series on PBS about the BAC  http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/big-apple-circus/

After that adventure I was hooked on all things circus and sideshow. I wanted to learn to eat fire. Jim Rose’s Sideshow was taking off and strangely I ended up moving next door to one of their performers Tim Cridland. I learned to eat and manipulate fire from him. After we had been friends for a while he knocked on my door one sunny day and asked if I would take pictures of him swallowing a sword.  He was at the skill level where he could keep it down for some time and he wanted a photo. In the yard between our houses, he took a sip of water and plunged the sword down his throat. I snapped a photo just as he had removed the sword to projectile vomit the water. He was having a hard time. I kept snapping as he was having to remove it. It was rather funny. Finally he was able to keep it down long enough for me to get a photo. It was his camera and I never did see the pictures. There must be several photos of him projectile vomiting water into the air. Since then Tim has become highly skilled at what he does. He has spent years and years practicing these things and what he does is very dangerous. He is known as Zamora, the Torture King http://www.mindandmatter.net/ 

After a photo of me eating fire was published in a free publication in Seattle I was  contacted by a belly dancer and her band about performing fire with them. I joined Sahar’s Kundalini Theatre. We were live music, belly dance, and fire eating. I did not belly dance. Sahar would have guest dancers perform with her. I would eat and manipulate fire while she and other dancers would change costumes. We performed at restaurants and opened for bands in clubs. We performed at  a benefit for Hemp-Fest at a loft in SoDo. We also did Seattle Mediterranean Festival in ’98. It was great fun. I quit the troupe because my private life was going down the toilet. That’s a whole other story.

I did not breathe fire as part of my act in the past.  I  felt it was too dangerous. I had only learned to eat fire and do fire manipulations from Tim. I was too afraid to breathe fire after an attempt on my own that scared me.

In 2011 I saw a fire troupe perform in Tumwater. I approached them about practicing and learning new things. I ended up joining and performing with Midgard’s Flame. Thanks to the matriarch and patriarch of that troupe I learned how to become a competent and confident fire breather and I became a better performer.

Hey Everybody!

I love fire performance. I love sideshow performance. Fire performance is usually part of the sideshow. When I lived in NYC (prior to my circus times) I would train out to Coney Island to watch Sideshows by the Seashore. I was fascinated with the performers. I wanted to know them but I was too afraid. I wasn’t afraid of them.  I was afraid that I would not be good enough for them. They possessed magic powers to me.

Now, before I tell you about my time in the circus, I would like to say that I am not circus. I would like to be but I am not. My time in the circus was brief and I do not recall a lot about it, especially the lingo. In 1993 I ran away and joined the Big Apple Circus due to some friends I have who got me a job on tent crew. The plan was for me to work on tent crew and then eventually work with my friends who were groomers for the horse act.  I took the Greyhound from Seattle to Queens and there I filled out paperwork and got my Circus I.D. (You will notice a different first name. This is my former name and is no longer legal or valid)

After reuniting with my friends I went straight to “work”.  I had arrived in time to see the second show of the day. It was explained to me that my job was to operate the “back flap” during performances so I must watch the show and pay attention to the live band during the show and identify the music cues for performer and animal entrances and exits.

Basically, I was a doorman for the performers. But it was critical to keep the tent flaps closed tight and opened and closed as quickly as possible for the performers. The elephants would head for any light once they were backstage. The underwater scene required pitch black so me and my two other tent crew members would sprint around the big top at a certain music cue and lower the venting flaps to shut out light. The underwater scene was a great glow in the dark kaleidoscope of dancing and acrobatics to the tune “Under the Sea”.  Most of the performers were from overseas (har-dee-har-har). Malaysia, Czechoslovakia, what was Yugoslavia, Russia, etc.  I learned the music cues quickly and developed a silent repertoire with the performers, who were always gracious and would give me a smile. There were acrobats, jugglers, contortionists, aerialists, dogs, horses, elephants, and two clowns, Gordo, the star of the show, and Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish was American born and a philosophy professor who decided that he was happiest clowning. I have long forgotten his real name and most of the details of his story. He was very gentle and kind. He  helped me to navigate how to behave with the performers. You see, performers really had nothing to do with staff. They were a kind of royalty and did not associate or socialize with any of us. I was told by Mr. Fish to just not talk. He said they hated loud Americans and if I am silent and polite they will like me. It totally worked.

There were three two hour shows a day if I recall correctly. The rest of the time was maintenance type work and the inevitable  tear down, location site marking, and putting the tent up when we would haul to another burrough in NYC.  Everyone had a job during tear down and raising the big top. I worked with two guys that I did not get along with. They did not appreciate the supervisor hiring a woman onto tent crew, and I was punk rock, and they were hicks. I was up for the challenge. I spent my fair share on top of the tent with my tent crew cursing and screaming at one another and threatening to release each others  carabiners. It really was a fun time when I look back on it. We were freely expressing our hate for each other and it was rather healthy.

The constant feeling of magic began to ebb. The bad food and the hate between me and my crew members  finally got to me. When we went to Dublin Ohio I could not take it any longer. My supervisor had screamed at me for being late for raising the big top. I was in a separate car for the caravan and we had stopped to see some of their friends in a little town on the way.  I was screamed at for the last time. I quit the circus and so did my friend Theo. We spent a week in Columbus Ohio exploring and trying to get a ride share to the west coast but then we hopped a Greyhound to Seattle.

There is a great documentary series on PBS about the BAC  http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/big-apple-circus/

After that adventure I was hooked on all things circus and sideshow. I wanted to learn to eat fire. Jim Rose’s Sideshow was taking off and strangely I ended up moving next door to one of their performers Tim Cridland. I learned to eat and manipulate fire from him. After we had been friends for a while he knocked on my door one sunny day and asked if I would take pictures of him swallowing a sword.  He was at the skill level where he could keep it down for some time and he wanted a photo. In the yard between our houses, he took a sip of water and plunged the sword down his throat. I snapped a photo just as he had removed the sword to projectile vomit the water. He was having a hard time. I kept snapping as he was having to remove it. It was rather funny. Finally he was able to keep it down long enough for me to get a photo. It was his camera and I never did see the pictures. There must be several photos of him projectile vomiting water into the air. Since then Tim has become highly skilled at what he does. He has spent years and years practicing these things and what he does is very dangerous. He is known as Zamora, the Torture King http://www.mindandmatter.net/ 

After a photo of me eating fire was published in a free publication in Seattle I was  contacted by a belly dancer and her band about performing fire with them. I joined Sahar’s Kundalini Theatre. We were live music, belly dance, and fire eating. I did not belly dance. Sahar would have guest dancers perform with her. I would eat and manipulate fire while she and other dancers would change costumes. We performed at restaurants and opened for bands in clubs. We performed at  a benefit for Hemp-Fest at a loft in SoDo. We also did Seattle Mediterranean Festival in ’98. It was great fun. I quit the troupe because my private life was going down the toilet. That’s a whole other story.

I did not breathe fire as part of my act in the past.  I  felt it was too dangerous. I had only learned to eat fire and do fire manipulations from Tim. I was too afraid to breathe fire after an attempt on my own that scared me.

In 2011 I saw a fire troupe perform in Tumwater. I approached them about practicing and learning new things. I ended up joining and performing with Midgard’s Flame. Thanks to the matriarch and patriarch of that troupe I learned how to become a competent and confident fire breather and I became a better performer.

Hey Everybody!

I love fire performance. I love sideshow performance. Fire performance is usually part of the sideshow. When I lived in NYC (prior to my circus times) I would train out to Coney Island to watch Sideshows by the Seashore. I was fascinated with the performers. I wanted to know them but I was too afraid. I wasn’t afraid of them.  I was afraid that I would not be good enough for them. They possessed magic powers to me.

Now, before I tell you about my time in the circus, I would like to say that I am not circus. I would like to be but I am not. My time in the circus was brief and I do not recall a lot about it, especially the lingo. In 1993 I ran away and joined the Big Apple Circus due to some friends I have who got me a job on tent crew. The plan was for me to work on tent crew and then eventually work with my friends who were groomers for the horse act.  I took the Greyhound from Seattle to Queens and there I filled out paperwork and got my Circus I.D. (You will notice a different first name. This is my former name and is no longer legal or valid)

After reuniting with my friends I went straight to “work”.  I had arrived in time to see the second show of the day. It was explained to me that my job was to operate the “back flap” during performances so I must watch the show and pay attention to the live band during the show and identify the music cues for performer and animal entrances and exits.

Basically, I was a doorman for the performers. But it was critical to keep the tent flaps closed tight and opened and closed as quickly as possible for the performers. The elephants would head for any light once they were backstage. The underwater scene required pitch black so me and my two other tent crew members would sprint around the big top at a certain music cue and lower the venting flaps to shut out light. The underwater scene was a great glow in the dark kaleidoscope of dancing and acrobatics to the tune “Under the Sea”.  Most of the performers were from overseas (har-dee-har-har). Malaysia, Czechoslovakia, what was Yugoslavia, Russia, etc.  I learned the music cues quickly and developed a silent repertoire with the performers, who were always gracious and would give me a smile. There were acrobats, jugglers, contortionists, aerialists, dogs, horses, elephants, and two clowns, Gordo, the star of the show, and Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish was American born and a philosophy professor who decided that he was happiest clowning. I have long forgotten his real name and most of the details of his story. He was very gentle and kind. He  helped me to navigate how to behave with the performers. You see, performers really had nothing to do with staff. They were a kind of royalty and did not associate or socialize with any of us. I was told by Mr. Fish to just not talk. He said they hated loud Americans and if I am silent and polite they will like me. It totally worked.

There were three two hour shows a day if I recall correctly. The rest of the time was maintenance type work and the inevitable  tear down, location site marking, and putting the tent up when we would haul to another burrough in NYC.  Everyone had a job during tear down and raising the big top. I worked with two guys that I did not get along with. They did not appreciate the supervisor hiring a woman onto tent crew, and I was punk rock, and they were hicks. I was up for the challenge. I spent my fair share on top of the tent with my tent crew cursing and screaming at one another and threatening to release each others  carabiners. It really was a fun time when I look back on it. We were freely expressing our hate for each other and it was rather healthy.

The constant feeling of magic began to ebb. The bad food and the hate between me and my crew members  finally got to me. When we went to Dublin Ohio I could not take it any longer. My supervisor had screamed at me for being late for raising the big top. I was in a separate car for the caravan and we had stopped to see some of their friends in a little town on the way.  I was screamed at for the last time. I quit the circus and so did my friend Theo. We spent a week in Columbus Ohio exploring and trying to get a ride share to the west coast but then we hopped a Greyhound to Seattle.

There is a great documentary series on PBS about the BAC  http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/big-apple-circus/

After that adventure I was hooked on all things circus and sideshow. I wanted to learn to eat fire. Jim Rose’s Sideshow was taking off and strangely I ended up moving next door to one of their performers Tim Cridland. I learned to eat and manipulate fire from him. After we had been friends for a while he knocked on my door one sunny day and asked if I would take pictures of him swallowing a sword.  He was at the skill level where he could keep it down for some time and he wanted a photo. In the yard between our houses, he took a sip of water and plunged the sword down his throat. I snapped a photo just as he had removed the sword to projectile vomit the water. He was having a hard time. I kept snapping as he was having to remove it. It was rather funny. Finally he was able to keep it down long enough for me to get a photo. It was his camera and I never did see the pictures. There must be several photos of him projectile vomiting water into the air. Since then Tim has become highly skilled at what he does. He has spent years and years practicing these things and what he does is very dangerous. He is known as Zamora, the Torture King http://www.mindandmatter.net/ 

After a photo of me eating fire was published in a free publication in Seattle I was  contacted by a belly dancer and her band about performing fire with them. I joined Sahar’s Kundalini Theatre. We were live music, belly dance, and fire eating. I did not belly dance. Sahar would have guest dancers perform with her. I would eat and manipulate fire while she and other dancers would change costumes. We performed at restaurants and opened for bands in clubs. We performed at  a benefit for Hemp-Fest at a loft in SoDo. We also did Seattle Mediterranean Festival in ’98. It was great fun. I quit the troupe because my private life was going down the toilet. That’s a whole other story.

I did not breathe fire as part of my act in the past.  I  felt it was too dangerous. I had only learned to eat fire and do fire manipulations from Tim. I was too afraid to breathe fire after an attempt on my own that scared me.

In 2011 I saw a fire troupe perform in Tumwater. I approached them about practicing and learning new things. I ended up joining and performing with Midgard’s Flame. Thanks to the matriarch and patriarch of that troupe I learned how to become a competent and confident fire breather and I became a better performer.