On my flight from Salt Lake City to Nashville I sat next to Bruce. I am calling him Bruce because he resembled a young Bruce Willis. Bruce is 5’6″ with an extremely muscular build. Two of my lower arms were equivalent in size to one of his lower arms. He wore an orange t-shirt and tan cargo shorts with grey New Balance cross trainers. He had stubble on is face. We started with light chat for a few minutes and our conversation quickly got deep. He’s a special forces army medic. He had been in Afghanistan this time for, I think he said, 15 months. He will be returning in a year after he completes more medical and language & culture training at Fort Campbell. His job will be to become immersed in the community his team are assigned and create a relationship of trust and cooperation so that they may better provide defense training and health care. Immersion requires that Bruce look the part. Bruce must look the part. Bruce has to grow his facial hair and let his hair grow. He said that there are some things he finds frustrating in the culture he has experienced in Afghanistan. One of them is that when Bruce has tried to provide medical treatment to women and children the men will say that the women and children do not need it, to treat them instead. It’s a complicated situation bringing forth fear, trust, values, religion, pride, everything.
Bruce has shot and killed people. He has also saved people’s lives. He has experienced devastating loss. During an ambush a member of his team was shot several times and Bruce tried to save him. His team mate was also a good friend from high school. Bruce said that he did every possible thing to keep his friend alive for transport but he died. “After that” Bruce said, “Nothing could phase me anymore.”
Bruce shared with me details about some of the training he has had to endure. Part of his training has been to be captured by the “enemy” and interrogated and tortured. Because he managed to not give any information after hours of intense interrogation and torture ( including a broken finger) he was placed in an underground box for over 24 hours. I am told that during torture exercises the torturers are allowed to break certain bones.
Bruce told me some things that were hard to hear and not be judgmental about. He told me some things he preferred I not repeat and I agreed to respect that.
He said that Afghanistan is nothing like the media portrays. He said people are so kind and generous with the little they have it’s humbling. He shared his sentiment that American civilians have no clue what it is like unless they have family that is military. I think what he meant was that we haven’t walked in his shoes. I would not want to walk in his shoes.
Bruce is single. His military career has cost him a marriage because he is away from home all the time. I asked Bruce if he was without a home since he was away for so long and leaving again. He said he owns a house close to Fort Campbell and that he will be living in his house again and not on base. He seemed very happy about living in his house again.
When Bruce spoke about being part of a community in Afghanistan and providing health care for them his eyes lit up and he talked with a smile. I asked him why he chose the Army and he said “Because I love it.” Then he said “I love helping people.” This is what he does http://www.goarmy.com/special-forces/primary-missions/foreign-internal-defense.html
Bruce, a bright, funny, caring, intelligent, life saving human being who has also cold bloodily killed other human beings in the name of self defense in a war. We have all accepted this irony. When societies construct reasons to kill one another systematically there is no escape from irony.
I feel lucky to have met Bruce and heard his story. We talked from Salt Lake City to Nashville. We talked all the way to baggage claim where we hugged and said goodbye.
It’s a big world.
Mt Rainier from Delta window seat.
