In chapter 10, she talked about Japanese American pageants. Reading this chapter complicated me more about the meaning of Japanese Americans, because I was curios how they judge the candidates for who would win Nisei Week. What was the criterion for judgment? Were they only the looks? Or, should the candidates do some demonstrations relating with Japanese culture? I found that I need to know how to choose the queens, because depending on the way to judge, these pageants like The Nisei Week Queen Pageant would be truly good events for inheriting Japanese culture or not. So, I decided to choose this as a talking point.

Thinking about today’s key word; “crisis”, I think there were many points in this film. So, I’d like to focus about Wil’s crisis and her mother’s one.

-Wil’s crisis

First in this film, I thought her crisis would be that she told that she is gay to her mother. This was because her mother wanted Will to be more girly and tried to find the guy who she liked. However, after she told her mother about herself, I found it won’t be her crisis. Her mother had already found it. So, I changed my mind, and I think her turning point is the time when she kissed Vivian in front of people.

In this movie, I also felt again how clever the mother was. I mean not only the mother but also all of mothers in the world. This is because Will’s mother knew everything about her before she told her mother. In the movie; “the joy luck club” which we watched on Tuesday, I thought the same thing how important mothers were.

-Mom’s crisis

I think her crisis was the time when it was clear who the baby’s father was. In this movie, there were many scenes which I think we can say one of stereotypes as Asian people. It was that Asian people always care about other people think. In the parties which were shown twice in this movie, most of people talked about other people. Because people cared about others view, Mom couldn’t tell the baby’s father. He was too young comparing with her. I don’t want to care, but at the same time, I also care what people think in Japan every time. This is one characteristic of Asian culture.

Through this film, I wondered about the title; “Saving Face” meaning a kind of obstacles against humiliation. Kissing with Vivian in front of people, and telling the truth about who the baby’s father is, these things were caused when Wil and her mother exposed themselves. To me, the crisis meant the point which people could keep going or not.

Through this film, I could find the hard times moving to America, or living in China, and so on. However, even though they experienced hard times, they looked happy after their problems were solved. I think that the reason why the first scene and the last scene were the same scene taking the picture with mothers and children was that the director wanted to tell us they’re happy. Even when we are in trouble, we are forced to stay where we are. And, to live there, we have a hope that someday we can release from there. After I watched this film, I wondered about if I am okay with who I am. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have never had hard time like in this film. I think the mothers in this film were wonderful, because they changed and made their life from unfortunate situations. Continuing from last quarter, I want to know more about first generation Asian Americans, because their powers were amazing and I don’t want their hard times to be forgotten. I think to study and know their time is important not just for myself but also for them.

In addition, I learned about how big the issues where the older generation. I think the environments where people grow up develop their characters, and usually the environments are made by parents or relatives. This is because character is largely formed by heredity and environment. I’m sure my parents are the best people who can understand my mind, although I sometimes have quarrels with my parents. I want to spend more with my parents, and not lose them the way June lost her mother.

This picture is with my mother and my younger sister taken in the summer of 2012.

Before I came here, most of my friends who used to live in America told me that I had to be careful because there is a sexual stereotype about Asians. So, I came knowing about the stereotype, but I still can’t understand the reason why Asian people are viewed sexually. Through this documentary, I didn’t want to think about that but I felt that I would be misanthropic if this stereotype was in everyone’s mind. This is because I’m afraid that I can’t understand exactly what people think about me. Since I came here, I have had some bad experiences caused by this stereotype against Asians. For example, one person made an assumption and asked me when I would sleep with him, it came completely out of nowhere. So, I couldn’t understand the reason why that person asked me something like that, and at the same time I felt angry because I felt like I was being stereotyped. Why do people expect this sexual image of Asian women? I know this is because the looks of Asian people are exoticism. However, also the Asian history relate with this stereotype. As we know already, in this book and the films, they talked about a lot of sexual scenes acted out by Asians for a long time. Because of these images from the media, they instilled this stereotype in people that they were not familiar with. However, this stereotype which Asian people tend to look as sexual is from many years ago. Nowadays, we have many roots to know the truth. I think it is very important to learn about the truth.

Reading this book, I could get new information about Chinese Americans, and I’m glad because I only know Japanese Americans from last quarter. So, I felt like I had more knowledge about Asian Americans. I didn’t know the effect caused by Chinese immigrants, the reason why the stereotype against Chinese people was long hair, and so on. So, reading this book was good to know about them. However, honestly I didn’t clearly understand because there were many different words in this book. For example, it is still not clear how different “miscegenation” and “amalgamation” are. In this book these words defined that “miscegenation” sexual relations between races and “amalgamation” stand for marriage relations among different ethnic groups. However, I have never studied about gender, so it is complicated to me to discuss about it. Before I forced technical problem like this, I just studied about history, but it wasn’t correct. Although we now are studying about Asian Americans’ history, I think we learn about not only history but also many fields. This history has many connections with different fields. Thinking about that, it is understandable why this book is too difficult for me to understand.

One thing I could comprehend is the sentence; “her death takes away the reason for his future return to China.” (Lee, p99) It was nonsense because there were some reason for returning to China. He should have knew about his roots, and I thinks he had a right to know it. I know how important knowing about themselves’ roots are for people who don’t know who they are exactly in America. However, at the same time, I know it was true that he loose the reason to return at that time. Returning to their other home countries was too hard because it cost too much and also they need to connect there. However, he couldn’t have any connection in China after his mother died. This thing remained me about “red pill and blue pill.” To know the truth, he had to choose the way to go. Or, he didn’t do.

Through this movie, I was impressed about two things. There are “conflicts” and “communities.”

-“Conflict”

Every time when I watch movies like this in class, I could find how many stereotypes there are about Asians. In this movie, there were also a lot of kinds of words used for stereotypes. Usually, they were used between people who had different backgrounds. For example, in the movie, the American girls at the party said “I have never eaten cats/dogs” to Ben. However, one thing I found in this movie was that stereotypes are also internalized. Ben’s father wanted Ben to be a doctor, and he talked about it in front of his relatives. I think that because his father cared about appearances, he protected the stereotype which is that Asian people were smart. Stereotypes exist not only between people having different backgrounds but also between the different generations. Ben was under his father’s pressure made by stereotype which is Asian people were smart, so he couldn’t seem to say his mind to his father. And more, he also couldn’t find who he is under the pressure. That reminded me of Thao in Gran Torino. Both of them were in conflict of “who they are” in America.

-“Community”

Since I came to America, I found that communities is very important to people with different backgrounds. America is a melting pot, so there are a lot of different kinds of communities. It took time for me getting used to this culture which people already have their own communities. This is because I had never cared about it when I was in Japan. In Japan, most of people there are Japanese, so I didn’t think about how important it was. I’m sure that it is comfortable for everyone to be in their community, even they have many friends having different backgrounds. In this movie, Ben and his friends went to the American party although his sister’s birthday party was happening at the same time. I think this is because he felt uncomfortable at the birthday party. He didn’t want to accept his home culture at that time, so he didn’t want to stay there. However, finally he went back to his sister’s party, because he was more uncomfortable at the American party. I don’t think everyone should have friends only who share the same community because having many friends from different backgrounds is good to exchange their cultures, but it is true that there were communities which we feel comfortable or uncomfortable in, and sometimes it made by races. I’m really enjoying my life here because I have friends and a lot of amazing experiences, but at the same time, I feel lonely. I think this is because I can’t find my community yet. America is a melting pot, but it does not always mixing well.