Interdisciplinary Psychology:

As I live my life today there is no person in my life who I need to engage in the forgiveness activity. For this reason I will share how this process relates to forgiveness I have found for my father. I went through this process as a necessary part of my recovery from substance abuse.

1)     The hurt I felt from my father was wondering why he could not express love on a consistent basis. As a child I took this to be a sign of my unworthiness to be loved. I also felt anger at the way he treated my mother. I also felt fear of the unknown as I struggled for a feeling of security that never emerged. There were many times I was angry and lashed out because of his intoxication and ambivalence of the feelings of his family.

As I began reading this book I was reminded of a quick fix, self-help, follow this and your life will be wonderful thing. As I read further it became clear, as stated, “quick fixes rarely last.” As outlined these skills are intended to provide the substance for improving ones ability to endure adversity in a healthy manner.

The one important aspect of this and any other set of rules, guidelines, roadmap, and inner-journey is the person’s willingness to do the work, follow the rules, and walk the talk. There are many people that get involved in the “flavor of the month” program to improve life with the expectation that this time it will “fix” me. Obviously it does not and never will work that way. The payoff must be of importance and a person must believe it can happen for them and be willing to do the work to get there.

As I examined my list of the many people in my life I am grateful for, one special person kept creeping back into my mind. He has been my greatest friend for the past ten years. I have not included the letter as some of the content would violate his anonymity and confidentiality as we are both members of Alcoholics Anonymous. For me the experience of writing this letter gave me the opportunity to re-examine the wonderful journey we have shared over this past decade as we walked the road of recovery together. He was the best man at my wedding and I was the best man at his wedding and we are both still married, to the same wives.

Elevator Ride

Goin’ Up,

Self regulation is something that I have not given too much conscious thought so here it goes.

Gemeinschafsgefuhl

“Do Unto Others”

I am in a constant search for ways to incorporate this principle into my daily life. Last night at work I was headed for the elevator coming from the cafeteria, and there was a woman coming out of the elevator. She made a left turn and this indicated to me that she was lost. I asked if I could help her to find her way and she acknowledged she was lost. She was in search of the “family birth center” where her daughter was preparing to give birth to her first grandchild. She was about as far away from her destination as she could get. I was not in a big hurry to return to the emergency room at 8 pm on a Friday night, so I made the decision she was in need of a personal escort. After delivering her to the delivery area she apologized for inconveniencing me. I told her it was my pleasure and it really was. I returned to the high pressure of my job with a renewed sense of purpose I would not have experienced had she not got lost. Sometimes it is like there is a voice that tries to tell me I am too important or too busy to do the little things I know I should be doing, like just saying “Hi” to someone passing in the hallway.