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Delwin's Forgiveness Activity
Activity 6: Forgiveness
1)The Uncovering Phase: For this activity I chose a man I used to work for. I worked for him as a roofer/foreman for five years. We had started a roof replacement on a one story rambler. The plan was to tear it off put new paper on one day and put new shingles on the next. Everything went well the first day but that night it snowed. To make matters worse a leak had developed in one of the valleys. I got the crew to agree to roof over to the valley so that the leak would stop. As we were finishing about noon cold and fairly miserable the boss pulled up. When I told him that we were going home he lost it. He started yelling for us to get back on the roof at some point the grabbed me by the throat. Then he told us to get back on the roof and left. Everyone else went back to work I did not. I left and never worked for him again. He did not really hurt me but I felt very embarrassed and mad that he could treat me like that in front of my crew and my feeling were hurt.
Delwin's EMP experience
I have been looking forward to the EMP field trip all quarter. I had never been there before and was excited about going. I got to campus at 8 I like to read before class. It was a beautiful day the Gods were smiling on us for sure. The one adversity for me was “the assignment” darn could have put that on my list oh well. At Marks instigation ( he stated that he had started) I and a couple of others joined him.
As the class gathered it appeared everyone was in good spirits. Not really to surprising as this class is one of the most out going classes I have been in. This could be because many if not all of us have taken other classes together. It may also be the nature of the class or it could be a testament to the thought Mark put into deciding who he would sign-up for the class. I was reminded that we are fairly diverse group in terms of age, backgrounds, and aspirations.
Activities 3 Three Blessings,4 Beautiful Day, and 5 Gradtitude Letter
Activity 3: “Three blessings”
One of the principals I try to live by is to have an “attitude of gratitude” and this activity compliments that really well. I try to start and everyday with a thank you prayer. I thank spirit and creation and all the elements in it for being. I find it helps me put things in proper perspective. I hope to live my life in a way that expresses that gratitude. This activity was another welcome reminder to do so. Where I had trouble at first was trying to pick three things that went “really well”. As usual I was trying to over think it. Once I relaxed moved on to “These things can be ordinary and small” part things started to flow. I also was a little concerned that it would turn out to be redundant because my life has a routine to it. Sleep, work, study, travel back and forth. In this I find a certain amount of security. I have learn to appreciate what I use to call boring. I think things are going really really well when I wake up alive at my age. As an addict I have out live my life expectancy. As a bonus having this activity on my mind reminded me to stop and appreciate when things are going well through out the day. It is not surprising to me that my list often involved interaction with other people. As for the optional dreaming I did not have much if any luck. My dreams seem to as far as I can tell be random. I know that my dreams are influenced by what I see, hear, and think before I go to sleep. I just don’t seem to be able to tell just what the hell is going to pop-up good or bad. But I think this may be like meditating it could be an acquired skill coming easier to some than others. I have a hard time focusing on any one thought for long.
Resilience Factor
I really found this book to be enlightening. This is not a book I want to put back on the shelf. This is one of those books I want to share with people. For me I think this book could very well be life changing I am so glad it was on our reading list. It just made so much sense to me. For a long time I have been working on improving the way I respond to life’s challenges or as the book puts it improve my resilience. When I read on page four “Resilient people have found a system- and it is a system- for galvanizing themselves and tackling problems thoughtfully, thoroughly, and energetically. Resilient people, like all of us, feel anxious and have doubts, but they have learned how to stop their anxiety and doubts from overwhelming them. We watch them handle threat with integrity and grace and we wonder: Could I do that? The answer is yes.” Good news for me as I often feel overwhelmed by anxiety and doubt. It would seem this book is just what the doctor (Hurst) ordered. What I like about this book is that it is clearly laid out and gives you a means of measuring where you are at in the present as well as your progress. I am confident that I can use the techniques to increase my abilities of: emotional regulation, impulse control, empathy, optimism, causal analysis, self-efficacy, and reaching out. It may be some time before I master or become proficient at the seven skills of: learning my ABC,s, avoiding my thinking traps (there are many), detecting my iceberg beliefs, challenging my beliefs, putting things in perspective (something I try to do), and lastly the “fast skills” I believe I could use on a daily basis. This book has already become a favorite of mine I am just getting started. I believe that my clients can also benefit from the skills, techniques, and assessment tools in this book. The concept that we can not change our history but we can work to change our beliefs and therefore how we face adversities. “Our emotions and behaviors are triggered not by events themselves but how we interpret those events.” Pg 68 Rings true to me as well as this statement on Pg 67 “ Very simply, in most situations, our beliefs cause our feeling and behaviors.” I have just started the work of identifying my ABCs already am learning that many of my beliefs could use some challenging. The good news is that change is possible and I am committed to doing it.
Delwin unto other Activity #2
As it happens my wife and I received a call asking if we would be willing to help an elder woman finish moving. We know her from the ceremonies we participate in during the summer. We agreed as helping others is one of the spiritual principals we aspirer to live by. It was not hard to see the gratitude in her eyes. Though this only took about four hours to help her finish cleaning up and one trip with my truck to her new. House to finish her move. It was very apparent that she would not have been able to complete it on her own. There is no way to measure how much it benefited me. First it help to focus on something outside myself and at the time I really needed that. I can become rather self absorbed at times. It was really nice to be able to share her sense of accomplishment excitement. She had been living in a rental for the last ten years and is now buying a home. It I felt both useful and appreciated. It was work and I did feel a little tired afterwards but it was a nice kind of tired. Afterwards I felt a warm sense of peace and satisfaction as I reflected on the experiences of the day. Even now as I write about it a smile comes to my face. There is an intimacy you share with someone when you help them move their life from one place to another. Being able to reflect on this day and lift my spirit I will continue benefit for some time. 
Delwin
