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Activities 3 Three Blessings,4 Beautiful Day, and 5 Gradtitude Letter
Activity 3: “Three blessings”
One of the principals I try to live by is to have an “attitude of gratitude” and this activity compliments that really well. I try to start and everyday with a thank you prayer. I thank spirit and creation and all the elements in it for being. I find it helps me put things in proper perspective. I hope to live my life in a way that expresses that gratitude. This activity was another welcome reminder to do so. Where I had trouble at first was trying to pick three things that went “really well”. As usual I was trying to over think it. Once I relaxed moved on to “These things can be ordinary and small” part things started to flow. I also was a little concerned that it would turn out to be redundant because my life has a routine to it. Sleep, work, study, travel back and forth. In this I find a certain amount of security. I have learn to appreciate what I use to call boring. I think things are going really really well when I wake up alive at my age. As an addict I have out live my life expectancy. As a bonus having this activity on my mind reminded me to stop and appreciate when things are going well through out the day. It is not surprising to me that my list often involved interaction with other people. As for the optional dreaming I did not have much if any luck. My dreams seem to as far as I can tell be random. I know that my dreams are influenced by what I see, hear, and think before I go to sleep. I just don’t seem to be able to tell just what the hell is going to pop-up good or bad. But I think this may be like meditating it could be an acquired skill coming easier to some than others. I have a hard time focusing on any one thought for long.
Activity 4: “A Beautiful Day”
The hardest part of this activity was letting go of all the things I felt I should or could be doing not the least of which is homework and work on the home. The elements I chose were loved ones, nature, and relaxation. Nature gives me since of awe and wonder this is where I consistently find transcendence. It is through loved ones I find much of my purpose and satisfaction in life. This is especially true for me when it involves the future generation or as we like to call them grandchildren. So for this activity I arranged with my wife to visit with our daughter Amy her husband Thomas and our grandson Gabriel in Aberdeen. We agreed to be there around 11or 12. This gave us time to take our dogs for a w-a-l-k can’t say the word till you are ready to go they get sooo excited. We live in the country kind of farm land and forest mixed with development near Rochester. We all really enjoy our walks when we get to take them. Not nearly often enough we have a nice view of mount Rainer. After our walk we got ready had a bite to eat and left. We really enjoyed our visit. Gabe is such a joy very energetic as you would expect an eight year old to be. We caught up on all that has been happening with everyone. Had dinner played some games hard to beat Gabe on his home turf. We come home in the evening not to late about nine. We still had time to relax enjoy each others company before bed. Yes I was successful it was a beautiful day thanks to all involved. This fits my perception of a beautiful day. I think the biggest action I could take to do this more regularly is FINISH school.
Activity 5: “The Gratitude letter and Visit”
I am grateful to so many people in my life not the least of which is Dr Hurst. That for me it became a matter of logistics. Who could I manage to actually arrange to visit? I thought I made a logical choice. Not only do I owe this man debt of gratitude past and present but I work for him. Easy access right? Wrong I did not factor in that he would be out of the office for illness 2days, business 3days, and mini vacation 3days. With the flu or what ever it is going around when he was in the office he and or I was filling in for someone who was out geez. Finally Tuesday morning I was able to set down with him and read him the letter. I really had know trouble writing the letter this man is so much more to than a good employer . What surprised me was how much more my feeling were intensified while reading it. I must say I got a little teary eyed not really surprising as I often shed tears of joy. I first ask him if he “had a minute” of course he said yes he always does no matter how busy he is. I told him I would like his help with a homework assignment (not the first time).
Dennis,
I am writing this letter to express to you the gratitude I feel to have you in my life. I have always admired and respected you. When we first met I was in early recovery confused and without much direction. Still you always had time to talk listen and offer encouragement. This has met more to me than you know. I am thinking of a time about twelve years ago we did not know each other well. I was going through a particularly rough time. You gave me ride to an event we were both attending. I can’t tell you exactly what you said but I can tell you how it made me feel. You helped me explore my options and I felt a big relief. Not just because I had found some possible solutions but the relief that comes from knowing that you don’t have to go through something alone. Thank you! This was one of a number of times that you have been there for me to “talk things out”. One of the things I admire most about you is how you treat other people with respect and dignity. You treat every human being like they have something to offer and have value. No matter how busy you are you somehow always have time. Thank you! You are a man who exemplifies the very best in us. You are generous with your time, money, and affection. I know you to be honest and a man of integrity. I have watched you face adversity in your own life with a courage, grace, and humility that I find truly inspiring. During the fourteen years I have known you have shown yourself to be a kind and trustworthy friend. You say what you mean and mean what you say. I hope you know just how special you are you give of yourself and act as if you are the one receiving and express gratitude for being able to do so. That shows a strength and humility that I hope to emulate. I am fortunate to have you in my life. The confidence you have shown in me is inspiring me to reach for my dreams. Thank you! I know longer think of you as just a friend. I think of you as family. You are in my prayers always wishing you health, help, and happiness. For who you are, how you live, and the spirit with in you THANK YOU!
Uncle Delwin (he recently asked if he could call me uncle)As he sat and listened I could see his face light up. When I finished he asked “that’s a homework assignment? Far out”. When I handed him the letter he asked “is this mine to keep”. He told me that he had never gotten anything like that before. I was so glad that I could give him that. I can’t help but think of the other people in my life who deserve a letter. This should not be my last. Thanks Mark.
Delwin it was so wonderful to read your letter (especially because I know Dennis and what a great man he is). When you sit down to think of who to write this letter to... isn't it interesting that you don't necessarily think of people who did nice things for you like help you move into a new house, baby-sit your kids, or wash your car... You immediatly think of people who have done simple but triumphant things like believe in you, have confidence in you, or just be there as a source of guidance. It inspires me to make myself available to be there for someone in the same way... sometimes that is all people need is to know that someone believes in them.
I also got a lot out of this assignment and do not plan to have this be my last letter because what a great gift it is for not only the person writing it but for the person recieving it. Thanks for sharing.
Delwin,
Your letter to Dennis was so eloquent. It's wonderful to have a person you can talk about anything to - the bad as well as the good- and who knows how to really hear you. People with integrity who treat others well always stand out and are terrific examples for us to learn from. I have learned as much "positive psychology" from the awesome people in my life as I have from this class. I am blessed to have the opportunity to learn from both. I hope you do write some more letters to other people. They really are what makes life good and interesting.