Interdisciplinary Psychology:

It's funny how we think that we are letting other off the hook by forgiving them but we are really freeing ourselves from the burden of carrying around the emotional baggage of remaining feeling hurt or angry.  I like what you said about you friend not consciously wanting to hurt you but how we all say things that may come across as hurtful.  i think that's a huge part of being human and why relationships can be so difficult but yet satisfying.  It's a constant struggle to try and figure out how another person might react to something you say or do and when you get it right, it's amazing but we don't always get it right.  it's takes a lot of compromise, communication and self reflection.