Submitted by Chelsea Moore on Wed, 03/05/2008 - 9:19pm.
Adam,
I really related to your story. In past relationships, I constantly found myself trying to "test" the relationship. For me, a relationship without bumps was mediocre - no obstacles to overcome meant a lack of love (I was really, really stupid). Back then, I convinced myself that the only way to truly know if someone cares is to "test" them - similar to the way you gave Eli some space, but secretly wanted her to reach out to you. Like you, I needed confirmation that I was cared about. Fortunately, I realized that my "tests" came from a place of insecurity and all I was doing was causing unnecessary problems in my relationship. Many times, my boyfriend knew full well what I was doing and refused to submit to childish games. Eventually, I had the good fortune of meeting someone that was able to talk to me about my insecurities and I've been fine ever since. I'm happy to see that you've also learned to reap the rewards of setting your feelings aside and letting things just flow naturally. Selflessness is a jewel.
Adam,
I really related to your story. In past relationships, I constantly found myself trying to "test" the relationship. For me, a relationship without bumps was mediocre - no obstacles to overcome meant a lack of love (I was really, really stupid). Back then, I convinced myself that the only way to truly know if someone cares is to "test" them - similar to the way you gave Eli some space, but secretly wanted her to reach out to you. Like you, I needed confirmation that I was cared about. Fortunately, I realized that my "tests" came from a place of insecurity and all I was doing was causing unnecessary problems in my relationship. Many times, my boyfriend knew full well what I was doing and refused to submit to childish games. Eventually, I had the good fortune of meeting someone that was able to talk to me about my insecurities and I've been fine ever since. I'm happy to see that you've also learned to reap the rewards of setting your feelings aside and letting things just flow naturally. Selflessness is a jewel.
~Chelsea