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Downer revision suggestions
Really all I'm trying to do is make this character less aggressively mean.
Page 9-10
Downer: Oh yeah, I should be so grateful. What is there to be grateful for? Everything is just a huge mess! All the time!
Pollyana:Gosh! I see all kinds of things... great family...
Downer:Don't even get me started on my family... Talk about a mess! First of all, my dad promised me he would pay for my school expenses, but he could only pay for two years of it! Even though he could somehow afford to go golfing three times a week the whole time he was supposed to be "saving up". Now I'm the one in debt. And my mom? Always on my case about something "Don't go outside, you'll catch the Bird Flu!" What a negative Nancy! She's always coming up with excuses to show up at my place unexpectedly, but she's probably just trying to catch me with drugs or something like that.
Pollyana:You know, i think you could appreciate them more... your sister...
Downer:Oh yeah that's great! My sister could possibly die and all I'd have to remember her by is he r car insurance bill every month! And my parents are so out of touch with reality that they're actually happy for her! (imitating pollyana) Gosh! That's swell!!