The Resilience Factor

Sandy's picture
Submitted by Sandy on Sun, 02/17/2008 - 4:41pm.

The book “The Resilience Factor presents nothing that I haven’t heard before.  The terminology is just stated in some different descriptive labels such as ticker tape thoughts iceberg beliefs, and amygdala hijack.  Even the term resilience in this book means nothing more than the ability to look at things with a positive viewpoint.  The book is repetitive, and thorough.  Being in the self-help genre, I can understand why it was written in this way.  The terms are easy to remember, and the repetition helps with memory as well.  I preferred the style of Introduction to Positive Psychology because I am used to that type of presentation as a university student, but I can see that this more folksy type of writing with lots of stories and examples is more of a fun read and helps immensely with clarity for the person who may not have had very much, or any kind, of introduction to psychological thinking and terminology.  I even enjoyed it when the lead author used examples from his own or his co-author’s life.  However, the book came across as a made-for-tv promise that will slice, dice and perfect your life in one easy read.  Not everyone will be able to, or possibly should, apply this information on their own.

 

I notice a lot of information in this book that Mark uses in his lectures.  On page 140 in the dialogue concerning b-c connections, I could clearly imagine Albert Ellis asking those questions. (I will never get that nasal voice out of my head, thanks to Mark.)  The book does have a lot of good information in it, and I found it valuable as a review of concepts that we’ve been presented with, and also as a validation to my own learning that I recognize and understand those concepts.  The one thing that really annoyed me about The Resilience Factor was the author’s practice of frequently writing a little about a subject and then referring to a more in-depth explanation in a later chapter.  There was a lot of introductory material like this, which seemed to be only for the purpose of filling pages.  The concept of mastering the ABC process and detecting and dealing with one’s iceberg beliefs are not so difficult that it should take so many pages to lay them out.

Again, my issues are with the presentation, but definitely not with the wisdom, insight, and exercises available in this book.  I can definitely see myself using these concepts for myself, and with counseling clients.

That having been said, there were a few concepts that stood out for me.  Of course, the basic concept of the whole book is that beliefs color a persons perception of events, and intensity of emotions can be an indicator of whether those perceptions are fairly interpreted, and that examining and oftentimes challenging the thoughts and origins of the thoughts underlying one’s emotions can be a good way to change for the better.  I found the two styles of why or what-next beliefs interesting, and the B-C connections tied beliefs and negative emotions into a neat little package to help a person figure out what may be going on inside.  Guilt being associated with having done a bad thing versus shame as associated as being a bad person is highly important to recognize in order to change behavior.  I didn’t agree with the ABC exceptions on page 91.  I believe that the emotions tied to a severe tragedy are related to beliefs one has about life, and death, and religious beliefs more than the author gives credit to.  A person will look at a tragedy differently who has had much tragedy in his or her life than another person who has not.  If one sees death as just a change in one’s eternal life, and that you will see each other again, the emotional impact is different.

The relationship section had some good, sound advice for presenting needs and wants to one’s significant other in a non-threatening way, so as not to blame character.  I also loved the section titled, “Teaching Children to Have High Self-Esteem Is Not the Answer” on page 254.  I cringed when the “self-esteem no matter what” concept was introduced into schools.  Children are too smart for that and see right through it.  It doesn’t help, only undermines the credibility of the person giving empty praise, and teaches the child to mistrust further praise, whether it be warranted or not.  Teaching them skills, just like the skills in this book helps with successful relationships and true self-esteem, is what works.


Jill Story's picture
Submitted by Jill Story on Wed, 02/20/2008 - 12:46pm.

Hi Sandy,

 I agree with your comment about the Introduction to Positve Psychology's writing style. I too like that style of writing better too.

 I liked reading the stories and examples, because they do help imensely. Especially if one of the stories are on point to something you have experienced. You can put yourself in their shoes and see how the story can relate or vice versa...if you can't comprehend how resilience can help, you can see how it has helped these people. But, eventually the stories get a bit repetitive.

I have read a few self-improvement books...this one is pretty good. It pretty much boils down to...What do you want to do to improve and how. And how you can apply what you have read and whether or not you want to.

 Jill