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Activity #2 - "Do Unto Others"
Positive Psychology Patricia Sims
Activity Paper - #2 01/26/08
“Do Unto Others”
At one point in my life, not all that long ago, I was spending entirely too much time with myself. And, I wasn’t very good company. I had the good sense to realize that it was time to quit concentrating on my own issues and do something for someone else. I was living in a very small town with a very large senior population. I introduced myself at the Senior Center and shared the various things I could do. It wasn’t long before I started getting phone calls.
One call lead me to a woman named Bea. She had become ill and since she no longer drove, she needed help getting to the doctor, grocery store, pharmacy, etc. Bea’s short illness and my pretense at taking care of her turned into a very dear friendship for both of us.
Bea is in her mid-eighties. She is one of the most independent, intelligent, and compassionate people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Once I took a step out of my own self-imposed misery, I found a real treasure.
Bea is a retired school-teacher. I believe she put in over thirty years to other people’s children (she never had any of her own). She has been one of my strongest supporters since I returned to school. I can hardly wait every quarter to share with her the classes I’m going to take and the books I’m going to read.
My own Aunt thinks going to school at my age is a “waste of time and money” and all I hear from her is what I “should have done” and when I “should have” done it.
Bea thinks it was courageous, brave, and audacious to leave my marriage at such a late date and dare to start my life over. She supports me every step of the way, even the ones where I stumble for a minute. She helps me pick myself back-up, dust myself off, and reminds me where it was I was headed prior to the –oh- so minor set-back.My Aunt wanted me to stay in a marriage where my life was threatened because; “You made your bed now lie in it.” She consistently reminds me of how much easier school would have been if I would have done it “when I was supposed” to.
I didn’t write this to show you what a lovely family I have, but to show that the rewards of doing something for someone else can be far greater that we ever expect. Aside from the immediate rewards of getting off my butt and doing something other than feeling sorry for myself, I was able to help someone in my community. The long-term, unexpected reward was a new friend; one with vast life experience and a far more positive outlook on life than my own family had to offer.
Susan L. Wagaman
I enjoyed reading your blog. You are courageous and you should feel very good about yourself and what you are accomplishing. I am 50 and just finnishing my degree. It also took courage to get out of a bad marriage where it was threatening your life. Isn't is interesting that when we think we are helping others they are really helping us?
Patricia,
Way to go in not listening to negative people and following your own intuitions! Your aunt needs some lessons in Positive Psychology and about abusive relationships! What would she rather have you do than learning and getting out in the world and building a better life for yourself - sit on your butt and be miserable? Where's the love in that? It's never too late to go out and live life. Because you have chosen the difficult path that you can't see down shows how much courage and fortitude you do have. I have been divorced for a couple of years now, and one person who has made a huge impact on my life is 75year-old Bernice. She never married, and was such a good example to me of how a woman can take care of herself. She lives in her own home, gardens and cans, and has a rental, and she travels the world, and says what she thinks. She also takes care of others who are going through tough times - that's how we initially met. I appreciate this dear lady so much I have another 90-year-old friend, Margaret, who lives in her own home, mows her lawn, tap dances, and helps out at the old folks' home. I want to be like them when I get to their ages. Thanks to the cool old people in our lives, we see that we still may have many years of living and giving to do.