Wouldn't it be so much easier if kids came with an instruction manual? I raised my two children with the Authoritarian style. Yes, they could express themselves, within limits. I set the limits. Throwing a fit as you are describing is mostly her way of getting what she wants. If you allow her to continue this, she's going to make it even worse when she hits age 13. Set the limits and then stick to them. It's going to be hard at first, but the final result will be good. If she does it in public, turn your back and walk away from her. Keep her within sight though. Don't set her up for any harm. Once she realizes that it didn't work and she got left, she'll see that it didn't work and she'll stop. When you get home, sit her down and have a talk with her. Tell her, depending on her age, what you expect from her behavior. Once you have that across to her, she gets to sit in a chair for 10 minutes doing NOTHING. No tv for the rest of the day,....whatever you can think of that she would consider "discipline". Remember, Seligman's book, Bo-Peep Barbie would have ended up sleeping at the Salvation Army if Nicky would have broken the deal. Discipline comes in many forms. You have to be highly brainey and outthink the kids. This is not easy. :) You can do it though. I have full faith in you. Rule number one for you: set the limits. She must respect those limits or there are repercusions. Good luck.
Wouldn't it be so much easier if kids came with an instruction manual? I raised my two children with the Authoritarian style. Yes, they could express themselves, within limits. I set the limits. Throwing a fit as you are describing is mostly her way of getting what she wants. If you allow her to continue this, she's going to make it even worse when she hits age 13. Set the limits and then stick to them. It's going to be hard at first, but the final result will be good. If she does it in public, turn your back and walk away from her. Keep her within sight though. Don't set her up for any harm. Once she realizes that it didn't work and she got left, she'll see that it didn't work and she'll stop. When you get home, sit her down and have a talk with her. Tell her, depending on her age, what you expect from her behavior. Once you have that across to her, she gets to sit in a chair for 10 minutes doing NOTHING. No tv for the rest of the day,....whatever you can think of that she would consider "discipline". Remember, Seligman's book, Bo-Peep Barbie would have ended up sleeping at the Salvation Army if Nicky would have broken the deal. Discipline comes in many forms. You have to be highly brainey and outthink the kids. This is not easy. :) You can do it though. I have full faith in you. Rule number one for you: set the limits. She must respect those limits or there are repercusions. Good luck.