Lynn, You have given a gift more priceless than gold to your friend. I had friends who were there to listen, again and again, when I went through the most difficult time in my life. This was the biggest factor in getting through it, and I value each person who spent time with me and remember each one's caring and concern. I work with abused women, and it is frustrating when they go back to their abuser, but most people don't know how the abuser has spent countless hours breaking down esteem. They don't see that in leaving an abuser, the survivor usually has to give up an income, a neighborhood, friends, their children's school and friends, a home, a job - sometimes they have to leave with just the clothes on their backs without knowing where they will find a decent place to stay, or how they are going to support themselves and their children without any education or skills. This is not a case of jumping from an abusive life to an easy life. It's a long, hard climb to self-sufficiency. Your statement about "no matter how many times you are sucked into the funnel, the next time you reach out for a hand, it's still available" is so profound. Oftentimes giving support isn't a one-time deal. You have committed to "pay it forward" and this gives such full meaning to life. You have taken your tragedy, and are turning your empathy towards someone who knows you understand and do not judge. I am in awe at how you have turned your life around.
Lynn,
You have given a gift more priceless than gold to your friend. I had friends who were there to listen, again and again, when I went through the most difficult time in my life. This was the biggest factor in getting through it, and I value each person who spent time with me and remember each one's caring and concern.
I work with abused women, and it is frustrating when they go back to their abuser, but most people don't know how the abuser has spent countless hours breaking down esteem. They don't see that in leaving an abuser, the survivor usually has to give up an income, a neighborhood, friends, their children's school and friends, a home, a job - sometimes they have to leave with just the clothes on their backs without knowing where they will find a decent place to stay, or how they are going to support themselves and their children without any education or skills. This is not a case of jumping from an abusive life to an easy life. It's a long, hard climb to self-sufficiency. Your statement about "no matter how many times you are sucked into the funnel, the next time you reach out for a hand, it's still available" is so profound. Oftentimes giving support isn't a one-time deal. You have committed to "pay it forward" and this gives such full meaning to life. You have taken your tragedy, and are turning your empathy towards someone who knows you understand and do not judge. I am in awe at how you have turned your life around.