"Do Unto Others"

Brandon's picture
Submitted by Brandon on Sat, 01/26/2008 - 5:33pm.
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Activity 2: “Do Unto Others.” 

            I am greedy. There I said it. I wouldn’t say that I’m the stingiest person I know but I’m definitely not the first guy in the bar to start buying drinks for people. This has always been a problem for me. I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that when I was growing up my parents always stressed the importance of money. They would tell me, “Sure, follow your dreams we will always support you (emotionally that is). But you have to realize that most musicians are poor, and Brandon coming from two people who know you pretty well, being poor isn’t something we think you’d enjoy.” 

            As I’ve gotten older my parents prediction regarding what I consider to be a financially acceptable lifestyle as become a little to dead on. One of my biggest weaknesses in life is my love of stuff… and not just any kind of stuff, for me it has to be the best stuff. Here’s a quick example: There is a high-end tequila manufacture that goes by the name of Patron.  This last year they released new tequila that sells for $650 for a fifth. Most people have the good sense to say, “that’s crazy I would never spend that much money on something so disposable.” Like I said, most people, but not me. The first thing I thought when I saw the advertisement was, I want it! I know I shouldn’t, I know its silly but if that’s the best then I want it. It was at this moment I realized I needed to make some changes in this aspect of my life.

            About a week ago I was out with a friend of mine who we’ll call Tom. Tom is a great guy who is an amazing musician who also happens to have hardly any money. As I was about to leave Toms house He asked me what I had planned for the rest of the evening. I told Tom that I was probably going to get something to eat then head back to my house and have a martini and see where the night went from there. As I was walking to my car I realized this was my chance to do something philanthropic. I knew that Tom had been going through a rather rough time lately and that he was probably dreading eating spaghetti for another night in a row. It was then I decided I would break my cycle of want and greed and try to do something (monetarily speaking) for somebody else for a change.

            That night I took Tom out for dinner and drinks. The part that surprised me most about the whole experience was when the check came. I half expected to feel like had made a bad decision. I thought my self talk would scream, “What are you doing, think of all the things you could have bought for yourself all with this money your about to spend.” It was nice to discover that was not the case. After picking up the check I felt great about the fact that I was able to help out a friend in a way most people are age aren’t used to being helped. On the way back home Tom told me, “I don’t know what to say. That’s the kind of thing I’d expect from my parents. You’re my first friend who has ever taken me out just because you could see I needed it. That really means a lot.”

            I am pleased to say that I enjoyed my philanthropic experience and since then have been doing all sorts of little things like it. Believe it or not I actually bought a round of drinks last night just because it seemed like a nice thing to do. 

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Submitted by susan w on Sun, 01/27/2008 - 9:39am.

Susan L. Wagaman

I liked reading about your experience.  It is really hard to give monetarily to others especially when you can think of all the great things you could do with that money.  It was really special that he appriciated it so much and also interesting to me that no one had done this for him before.  I wonder if people just feel embarased to offer this?  He will remember this for awhile, way to go!   

Mark A. Hurst PhD's picture
Submitted by Mark A. Hurst PhD on Sat, 01/26/2008 - 11:24pm.

As usual, your response papers are "On the Road-esque." Tequila for $650??? You are going to need some serious student loans, man! Your generous gift to your friend was probably a night he will never forget, and I'm sure you will carry with you as well. 

I also enjoyed your elevator ride response on work, sleep, nutrition, physical activity, and leisure in balancing the complex life of a contemporary college student. The new book "Crazy, Busy" seems to say it all. It seems like the central struggle is how to attach to people and things enough to enjoy life, but not become overwhelmed by them.


Brandon's picture
Submitted by Brandon on Mon, 01/28/2008 - 2:07pm.
Thank you, I'll take any comparison to Kerouac as a giant complement. Looking back on it I should have clarified that most of the time (especially in the case of the tequila) most of the I frivolous things I want (after I think about it for an hour) get filed by me under the "silly" category of life. I probably wouldn't spend $650 on any drink regardless of how much money I might have. However, if someone offered to by me a shot of the stuff I probably wouldn't turn it down :)