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Activity 4 "A Beautiful Day" & Activity 6 "Forgiveness"
Activity 4
A Beautiful Day
Seligman says that “A full life consists in experiencing positive emotions about the past and future, savoring positive feelings from the pleasures, deriving abundant gratification from your signature strengths, and using these strengths in the service of something larger to obtain meaning.”
Thinking about activity four I decided that every day is a beautiful day.
For me, a beautiful day is not about any one thing, it is about finding joy in what is currently happening in my life.
I don’t want to establish just one beautiful day. I want to cherish everyday that I have.
Currently my days are full of routine, for the past five years I have worked and gone to school, which doesn’t give me a lot of time to play. Nor, do I have much knowledge on current events, or the mass media. But, I do find joy and happiness in the time that I have to do these things and especially savor the moments that I have with family and friends.
All of which is beautiful. My current situation is beautiful in itself. If something happens during any day, that is disturbing, I try to process and journal it and decide what would make the event better.
All in all, I try to remain positive and since taking the character strength test and finding out my strengths I try to apply them to my daily routine.
“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
“He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it.”
~James Allen
Activity 6
Forgiveness and Forget about Forgetting
Why is it so hard to forgive? I don’t think one will ever forget, but allowing yourself to forgive will dull the vividness of the memory of the hurt.
I have had some very difficult experiences in my life that are very hard to forgive. During these times of hurt and betrayal I wish that my mind would just forget the event. But, why is it that when you are hurt those thoughts are so much stronger than any other thought in your head? You just can’t seem to turn it off. It is so consuming and debilitating!
I would assume that we are all different when it comes to the ease of forgiveness. I would love for it to be easy. I wish it were a strong virtue of mine, but forgiveness seems difficult. I looked up my forgiveness virtue; forgiveness is ranked #11 on my character strengths. I thought it would be lower, but that was my own speculation. The hardest person on me is myself.
I have realized by having to do this exercise that this is an area that could use some improvement. And with that said, I will begin to use the steps to forgiveness (REACH) more often when I feel hurt.
I realize now that positive healthy relationships are not possible unless you are able to forgive.
REACH
- Recall the hurt
- Empathize
- Altruistic gift of forgiveness
- Commit to forgive
- Hold on to forgiveness
Susan L. Wagaman
I could relate to your beautiful day since I too just tried to make my "normal" day better by concentrating on the beauty of it and trying to make it more meaningful. Although, I really do think that treating myself to my version of a "beautiful day" would be a nice goal. Maybe I wouldn't see any difference. I like your idea of keeping a journal and writing down how you could change something in your day to make it better.
I also agree that forgiveness can be so hard. Sue Marie responded that if we don't practice forgiveness towards others we hurt ourselves more. I totally agree. In the last few years I have had to forgive some pretty big things. I held on to the hurt for a while and then realized I had to let it go or it would make me bitter and angry...not at all the type of person I want to be. It was also making me see the world in a more negatiave light. Once I chose to forgive it was such a release. Each time I do it it gets easier. Sue Marie wrote about the Tibetians. I also see this in Jesus, in the bible, where even on the cross he asked God to forgive those who were crucifiying him."because they know not what they are doing". Maybe this is the key...those that hurt us many times don't really understand the severity of their actions or the destruction they are causing. When we see a little of what they may be going through or understand where they came from it can be easier to forgive even if we don't excuse their actions. I like to think that when we forgive we can also make something good out of something bad. Forgiveness is probably just one of those things that we need to be concsious of and "make" ourselves do at times.
First, I loved your beautiful day post. Several people wrote about seeing every day as beautiful rather than having just one beautiful day. This is a great strategy for living a full life, I believe. Life has its ups and downs, but I'm pretty glad to be here regardless of the circumstances. I don't think any of my suffering is significant anyway, compared to so many people in the world.
As for forgiveness, you ask why it is so hard to forgive. Good question. I was just reviewing an essay by a classmate from another class who wrote on hospice-style work. She wrote that she noticed people dying of cancer were always hanging onto some hurt from the past. I've heard new age people say heart disease comes from withheld love and cancer comes from withheld anger. The essay sort of gave me the willies. It made me think what I might still be holding onto. I don't believe all heart disease or all cancer is caused by our emotions, but clearly there is a mind/body link. Forgiveness is ultimately the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.
One thing that really impresses me: I heard that the number one concern for Tibetans who are in prison by the occupying Maoists Chinese is that they not lose compassion for their captors. I am so inspired by the ability many Tibetans have to forgive, even after being beaten and tortured, even after being confined for years. This doesn't mean to be a door mat, it means to not let the negative aspects of life hijack our minds, because then we've lost everything.
Jill
I enjoyed reading your post. I have to agree with you life is a beautiful something to be cherished and celebrated. When I am having a difficult time I stop and turn to nature and am always reminded what a gift life is. I too think time with family is the best. Thanks Delwin