Christine, Edward, and the Cube
Hippopotamus Migration in Africa
.
Aaron McCay (aaronmccay@hotmail.com)
Kevin Schultz (kevin_schulz@hotmail.com)
.
"Happiness"
The Happiness Hobo Treatment
Treatment-
A merry drunk transient with a bottle of cheap booze and rucksack full of more bottle jumps off a boxcar. He discovers a small town where a mayor is giving a campaign speech. Being a colorful individual, the happiness hobo is always shot in color. The townsfolk and mayor being bleak and boring are shot in black and white. After the speech, the mayor tells allows anyone to make community announcements.
At this point, the happiness hobo offers the mayor the rucksack, which will give people happiness. The mayor reluctantly accepts and slings the rucksack over his shoulder. Color starts to fill the mayor. The rucksack looks much larger in the mayor’s hands. He starts to laugh with uncharacteristically like a gleeful child. He dies dropping the rucksack. The bottles break pouring their fluid down on the ground. The normally calm townsfolk rush to drink the fluid. All the townsfolk die in colorful glee as the happiness hobo picks up his magically full rucksack and sadly walks to the next town.
.
Cast List-
Happiness Hobo — sometimes just referred to as just plain Hobo in the script, is the scruffy stereotypical image of a freight hopper. He wears dirty overalls, a plaid shirt, and a tattered pinch cap with a collection of beer caps stuck to it. He carries a rucksack full of bottles with colorful liquids. He wanders all over the world and walks with a slight limp. Oh, and he is also a god.
Mayor Grumble — sometimes just referred to as Mayor in the script is a robust man by p.c. terminology, a fat ass by any other definition. He likes his eggs, toast, tomatoes, and ice cream fried in bacon grease. His arteries are humming the tune "take this bod and shove it" and plan to quit, any day now and look for another gig but Mayor is totally unaware of this. He has been a politician in Anonymous, WA for most of his life.
He never smiles, partly because he is missing two front teeth about which he is slightly embarrassed and partially because he abhors life, his job, the town where he lives, and everything and everyone in it. He would like to kill Towns man #1 and he often has sexual fantasizes about Towns lady #2.
Towns lady #1 - Loves nature, cats and good times in the garden. She is looking for a man with similar interests. She is often unhappy about things like war, death, and the size of avocado pits.
Towns lady #2 — A seamstress by day, prostitute by night, and a fly fisherwoman on the third Tuesday of every month. Into witchcraft and channeling avoid her if at all possible.
Towns lady # 3 - Does not appear at all in the script or in the film because she had decided to stay home and watch TV that day. She later regrets this decision, and wished she could have been present at what became known as the Anonymous Happiness Massacre, just to se the look on Towns man #2’s face.
Towns man #1 - A mill worker and bug collector. He knows what the mayor keeps in his cellar…
Town Man #2 - The town’s barber and gossip king. On Tuesday he "accidentally" spilled corrosive acid on Towns lady #3’s head, cause all of her hair to fall out.
.
Screenplay-
HOBO (his voice from a distance)
Now to the next town I take my way.
EXT. TRAIN TRACK — DAY
There a stretch train track running through the quiet wilderness. Furs, pines and other evergreens are lined on either side. There is a slow rumbling box train sound and the train runs by blocking the serene scene. The HAPPINESS HOBO with a rucksack jumps out of the boxcar. He sees a LADY in a white button up blouse holding a sign saying "Re-elect Mayor Grumble."
.
HOBO
Madame, where is the mayor or ruler or king of this place? For I bring happiness. Your Ruler, once he has my precious gift, can dispense it to others. But let him not give them too much, for it is dangerous–it is dangerous, and it can destroy!
The lady eyes the hobo cloths.
LADY
You’re wearing such strange garb for campaign finance guy. Oh well, the crash has affected us all.
Yeah, I’ll tell yah, that’s Mayor Grumble over there giving a speech.
.
.
EXT. TRAIN STOP — DAY
Several townsfolk are listening to MAYOR GRUMBLE giving a speech from a podium. Some of townsfolk are holding signs supporting Mayor Grumble. GRUMBLE dressed in an uncomfortable suit is sweating profusely. The happiness hobo and lady walk into the crowd.
MAYOR GRUMBLE
If you re-elect me, I will promised to protect our mill from this dark time. So re-elect me, Jim Grumble.
The crowd claps somberly. Mayor Grumble looks a little distraught because it is not the type of reaction he is looking for.
.
.
MAYOR GRUMBLE
Is there one out there with community announcements?
The Happiness hobo walks through the crowd to the podium.
HOBO
I am the God of Happiness and I am looking for twenty people to make happy. But few can stand it. Few can support the happiness power that I bring, it is too strong for most! I can barely transport it.
The Happiness hobo holds the rucksack high and offers it to the Mayor. The Mayor looks confused.
MAYOR
Well I am the Mayor. I guess I’ll take it.
The Happiness hobo hands the rucksack to the Mayor. The Mayor long face is change to one of childlike glee. He starts to laugh. The rucksack seems huge to the Mayor and his knees are bending with the weight.
Oh! I am staggering, dying under this beautiful weight!
HOBO
>Give it to others, quickly! Unhappiness rides behind!
MAYOR
I will! Ah! Ah! Too late! Too much! Too strong!
The Mayor slumps over and drops the rucksack of happiness. Bottles of colorful fluid inside the rucksack fall out and break on the ground. Colorful fluid runs on the ground. The townsfolk are wound up in a furious madness. They rush towards the podium.
TOWNSPEOPLE
Happiness! Happiness! We want some for ourselves!
Townsfolk start drink the colorful fluid and keel over just like the Mayor. The Happiness hobo watches in horror. Everyone except the hobo dies. The hobo is alone in front of a pile of twisted bodies.
HOBO
Disaster–again! Oh, misfortune…
HOBONow to the next town I take my way.
EXT. TRAIN TRACKS — DAY
The Happiness walks alone down the track just as he came.
.
Continuity script-
1.LS: Scene opens in freight yard with a serene setting in back.
A slowing train passes the camera (which is on the left side of the passing locomotive) obscuring the natural setting. As the train rolls by and slows to a stop eerie music starts and credits dissolve in.
2. Shot from slowing train, Dutch tilt showing the gravel and tracks dropping from the top left of the screen to the bottom right.
3. LS: of a boxcar for at least a 10 or 15 second duration. Suddenly a scruffy, bearded man pops his head out from the right side of the (open) boxcar door. He comes into full view, surveys the area and takes his time getting off the car. Once off, he starts walking toward the camera, stops, scratches his head and shuffles back to grab the rucksack he forgot on the boxcar. He walks back towards the camera, looking around. He comes to a stop on the right side of the frame (MS) looking directly into the lense.
HOBO- Well. I will stop in this village, this town, this city, it is bigger than I thought.
(He looks around. A lady passes him from behind and stops in left side of screen LS when he addresses her.)
HOBO- (turning)Madame, where is the mayor or ruler or king of this place? ForI bring happiness. Your Ruler, once he has my precious gift,can dispense it to others. But let him not give them too much,for it is dangerous–it is dangerous, and it can destroy!
(The lady eyes the hobo cloths.)
LADY-You’re wearing such strange garb for campaign finance guy. Oh well, the crash has affected us all. Yeah, I’ll tell yah, that’s Mayor Grumble over there giving a speech.
(she points to right of frame, hobo turns)
4. Pan right, and dolly left putting half the hobo’s back and head in left side of frame. There is a man in a podium on a train platform surrounded by several people holding signs at a distance (ELS).
5. Cut to MS of the mayor and crowd, camera is in back of the group toward the right. Several townsfolk are listening to MAYOR GRUMBLE giving a speech from a podium. Some of townsfolk are holding signs supporting Mayor Grumble. GRUMBLE is dressed in an uncomfortable suit and is sweating profusely. The Happiness hobo enters from the left, and shoulders through the crowd.
MAYOR GRUMBLE-If you re-elect me, I will promised to protect our mill fromthis dark time. So re-elect me, Jim Grumble.The crowd claps somberly.
Mayor Grumble looks a littledistraught because it is not the type of reaction he is lookingfor.
MAYOR GRUMBLE- Is there anyone out there with community announcements?
The hobo ascends the podium.
6. Dolly left and forward to MS of hobo and the mayor who standing behind to the left with a look of distaste on his face.
HOBO- I am the God of Happiness and I am looking for twenty people tomake happy. But few can stand it. Few can support thehappiness power that I bring, it is too strong for most! I canbarely transport it.
The Happiness hobo holds the rucksack high and offers it to the Mayor. The Mayor looks confused.
7. Cut to MS of Mayor
MAYOR- (His face is still somber but takes on a barely visual belittling grin, hoping this affair will amuse the crowd)Well I am the Mayor. I guess I’ll take it.
.
8. MS: Hobo who shrugs and hands the rucksack off screen left. Gasps of surprise and noise from the crowd.
9. Pan left to MS of Mayor,
The Mayor’s long face is change to one of childlike glee. He starts to laugh. Sudden dolly out. The rucksack stick and bag seem huge in comparison to the Mayor and his knees are bending with the weight of its contents.
MAYOR- Oh! I am staggering, dying under this beautiful weight!
(Hobo enters frame desperately trying to persuade the mayor.)
HOBO- Give it to others, quickly! Unhappiness rides behind.
10. Shot from above of desperate and yearning crowd on their knees.
11. Low angle shot from below of desperate, yearning, and groveling crowd, dolly right down row of pathetic townspeople.
12. ECU: of Mayor’s terrified and overly happy mug.
MAYOR- I will! Ah! Ah! Too late! Too much! Too strong!
Mayor’s face falls from frame.
13.Cut to high angle shot 15 feet above topping mayor. Townspeople on edge of frame.
.14.LS 5 feet above the mayor.
15. ECU: Shocked face of Towns lady #1
16 ECU: Horrified face of Townsman #1
17 ECU: Confused face Towns lady #2
18 ECU: Cunning Face of townsman #2
19. CU 2 feet above the mayor’s face (smiling unnaturally but definitely dead). Tilt up to show rucksack and its broken contents, bottles and flasks some still holding some mysterious colorful liquids.
20. Low angle MLS of the 4 towns people looking as if they have the same idea. They race over the camera shouting.
TOWNSPEOPLE- Happiness! Happiness! We want some for ourselves!
21. ECU of rucksack and oozing bottles, and dead body. Depth of field. In background we see the townspeople running a race (slow motion) to the bottles. All reach the broken pieces of bottles at the same time, falling to their knees and snatching them up. They pull the dominating bottle fragments from view of the camera.
.
22. LS from 10 feet above of crowd raiding bag and trampling corpse.
Townsfolk start to drink the colorful fluid, look really happy for a minute, and keel over just like the Mayor. The hobo enters the frame and turns up to the camera with outstretched arms as if speaking to (another)God.
.
HOBO- Disaster–again! Oh, misfortune…
23. Cut to same angle as 21. Hobo picks up rucksack (now full, its contents unbroken) and walks off into the distance towards a train.
Credits roll up.
.