Internal pain

a constant constriction

positioned where I cannot see

where I cannot know

completely

which leades to hyper-awareness, constant thought

and question focused inward

I feel week

I feel confused

I am sensitive

and vulnerable.

I want so badly to curl up

yet I am restricted to my right side.

I wonder what is festering of growing inside of me,

cells forming,

impossible life?

Bacteria, pain

In this moment I do not feel whole

let me say that the physical pain is not excruciating or unbearable but the mental effects are deafening.