Renée Ingersoll

As Poetry Recycles Neurons

Tuesday Reverie

5/7/13

Word Count: 182

Neuro Reverie

“It appeared that this challenged the conventional, rationalist accounts of ascription—that we understand the intentions of others by creating theories about what lies behind their appearance or their acts, on the basis of our own commonsense psychology about their desires and their beliefs about how to achieve them. It was not through theorizing about others, but through feeling what they feel, that we understand the mental states of others. I really do ‘feel your pain.’” (Rose & Abi-Rached, Neuro; 146)
If you gathered my life’s data, could you understand me through theory alone?
A stew of memory snipets, scents and what I can put into words

All my wants, needs, favorites, reactions, morals, significant others, friends, traumas and elations

Compiled into an equation to show you how it feels to see a person who isn’t there

Have your best friend choose an internet lover over your 12 years together

Get the call that one of your closest friend is locked up for 10 to 25

Be completely in love with two people

Hate yourself to the point of seven suicide attempts

To just name a few

You can’t put that sadness into numbers, I can barely put them into words

That utter despair, only desperate howling wails can truly convey

That hopelessness that refuses your sleep, pacing like a madman around the walls of your heart

That anxiety pressing into the soft flesh of your throat like a tightening noose

I used to say all life could be put into an equation, the chemicals at least

but what are the elements that make up suffering